I grew up very sensitive and shy. In fact, decades later, I still have numerous gawky, clumsy, and socially awkward moments. And when I’m feeling cringey, I’m momentarily catapulted back into childhood, blinking back tears when my middle school “best friends” made plans behind my back, asked me directly why I had big lips or looked so tired, or tricked me into gossiping about them on a phone call.
Learning life lessons about friendships at a young age, Cook says, will empower your child “to make choices in relationships that fill her up and encourage her to be herself; not question if she’s good enough.”
A growth mindset, Cook added, would also look like: “These girls aren’t really my friends if they treat me like this. It hurts because I want them to like me, but how they treat me makes me not like myself and that’s not good.”
Armed with Cook’s advice, I’m working with my daughter to seek new friendships or create opportunities to make close friends outside of school.
“Protecting our children from being exposed to ’the ugly side of life’ is hard,” Cook stressed. “That being said, if your child is bullied on social media, limit their time on these platforms or explore the idea of ’taking a break’ from social media. If they have a phone for ’safety purposes,’ then get them a flip phone without texting options. She can blame her ‘lame parents’ to save face if she wants. This is about allowing her to have places in her life she can go where bullies can’t reach her.”
While there are things in life you can and can’t control, I’m hoping that with empowerment and support I can always be an ally for my daughters.
