I was talking with a friend of mine a few months ago and she revealed how she's been struggling for the past year to have a connection with her husband. For the first time in their 10 year marriage, there were big gaps in their sex life.
“We used to have sex three times a week. I want that for us but it’s not happening,” she told me.
She shared how they were only having sex once a month — or going even longer — which wasn’t enough for her husband.
“I can tell he’s struggling. I mean, he’s been walking around naked, asking me if I want to take a shower… anything… to get me in the mood.”
I then decided to ask the million dollar question: “Do you just not want to have sex, or do you not want to have sex with him?”
“I don’t want to have sex with him,” she said after a long pause.
That hit me
It’s been four years since we divorced and I still cry about this and wonder what I could have done differently
There are some great tips out there to read if you’re struggling to feel that loving feeling with your partner. Sex therapy is a thing and I believe we need to normalize lack of desire and the fact that phases of not wanting to have sex with your partner exists.
We hear the jokes, we bash the cheaters, but there’s a deeper level to it and maybe more relationships could be saved if it was talked about more. I know if I’d know about sex therapy and how much it could help, I would have given it a try. My marriage was worth it. My friend and her husband have already started the process and she says it’s helping. So here’s hoping their relationship takes a different path than mine did.
