Infertility is hard to deal with. A lot of emotions come with it, and the condition can feel compounded by seeing others who don’t seem to struggle. It’s not that they want others to feel the pain they do, but when getting pregnant, carrying a baby to term, and bringing that baby into the world seems to come without effort, it can make someone dealing with infertility feel a whole slew of emotions.
One family is dealing with those emotions, but unfortunately, it’s spilling on their neighbors. One such person took to Reddit to share some issues she’s having with her neighbors who are struggling to conceive. It’s getting to be way too much, and an argument escalated that’s left the new mom feeling unsure.
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Given she wasn’t sure if she went too far in the argument, the woman took to Reddit to share what happened.
Posting to Reddit’s AITA community, the original poster gave some details about her neighborhood before jumping into the issue at hand.
“My husband (29M) and I (28F) have been living here for 5 years, ever since we married. Our previous neighbours were an adorable couple in their 60’s-70’s, we had a fairly good relationship and was kinda sad when they left,” she wrote.
“This year I gave birth to my son (6mo). When my new neighbours (lets call them Paul and Anna) moved in I was 2 months pregnant,” she continued. “We weren't friends but we would say hi to each other here and there.”
OP has been sunbathing her whole life, but it became an issue with her neighbors.
“I sunbathe everyday, it's something I have been doing since childhood,” she wrote.
She was happy to do that in her own backyard, but it eventually became a problem. “This was not a problem until my pregnancy became apparent,” she added.
“The left side of the yard has two kinds of fences, one low (1,5m) that used to have a hedge on the neighbour side (that they cut off) and one taller (2m) in the rest of the backyard,” OP explained. “It's hard to see it from the ground, but they still can see our whole yard and part of our main floor from [their] second floor.”
When she was five months pregnant, that sunbathing became an issue — for OP’s neighbors.
“When I was 5 months pregnant Paul told my husband that my sun bathing was making them uncomfortable,” she shared. “I sunbathe in shorts and tank tops, nothing out of the ordinary, I just ignored them and kept my routine.”
But the neighbor didn’t stop. “The following month he did it again,” she added.
And it got worse a few months later. “Until my 8th month, I was back from a walk with my husband, and Anna was in the front of the house, once she saw me she stormed inside and slammed the door,” OP explained.
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The next day, Paul popped over to explain.
“The following day Paul came to our house and told us that they have fertility problems and seeing me pregnant was making her heavily uncomfortable, and I was a insensitive b—-,” OP shared.
And there have been a few more times since then that the neighbors got weird.
“Currently I am working from home and the baby is close to me in a playpen in the living room, and we have another in the backyard on the terrace. So I can have him close when gardening or just playing with him," she wrote.
Apparently, she made the neighbor uncomfortable again recently, but she wasn’t outside this time.
“I was in the living room playing with the baby when he knocked, he asked me to move from the living room because his wife could see me from their balcony,” OP explained. “I told him to tell her to look in the other direction and leave me alone.”
And then it happened again.
“Today, my husband and I were grilling some meat in the backyard. The baby was hungry so I started to breastfeed,” OP added. “When I looked at their house Ana was on the balcony, she went in and a few minutes later Paul was at our door again.”
He came over to her house to complain about what she was doing in her own yard. OP was tired of it all. “I gave my son to my husband and I answered the door. Paul went off on me for breastfeeding in public (again my fenced yard) and being inconsiderate,” she recalled.
But she was done. “When he finished I told him to leave us alone, don't knock on my door again, and if his wife is so upset over seeing a baby she needs therapy and not him harassing my family,” OP explained. “And I will do everything I want in my own home.”
When she said it, it felt justified, but when OP told the details to her mom, she felt it was wrong. OP’s mom told her that “I couldn't understand because I never suffered from infertility and I need to apologize.”
OP then turned it over to Reddit, wanting people to her their feedback.
“This isn’t your problem … it sucks for them but are you really gonna stop being a mom at certain view points cause they can’t have a baby,” one person wrote. “She needs to stop looking at your home that’s it and that’s all.”
“She needs a therapist and you need a restraining order against them,” warned another commenter.
“Document everything and fill a restraining order if this behaviour continues,” someone else commented. “This is harassment. You are not being inconsiderate for living your life. The world doesn't stop spinning because this couple can't have a baby.”
“These people need to mind their own damn business,” wrote another person. “That woman clearly needs therapy. I'd lock my doors and keep an eye on that baby at all times.”
“They seem to have focused on you as the issue instead of their fertility,” shared someone else. “This is harassment. Start documenting every interaction, every slammed door, every knock on your door. At some point this will most likely need for you to involve the police.”
Seriously, this isn’t typical behavior, and although infertility can be really hard to deal with, their actions are crossing a line.
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