Even a friend or family member with the best of intentions needs to be told to back off every once in a while. This is especially true when it comes to pregnancy. But one woman was left seriously questioning her mother-in-law’s true motives when she not only asked to be in the delivery room — but also told her that it was a family tradition to let grandma name the firstborn. Neither the mom or her husband is down to let grandma take over their pregnancy, but getting her to give them some space might be easier said than done.
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The couple has been together for four years.
But this is the Redditor’s second marriage. The mom already has three kids from her first marriage “and my husband is an amazing step dad to all three of them,” she wrote in a post on the r/JUSTNOMIL forum.
Sounds drama-free, right? Not for long …
She really thought she was done after three — but she didn’t take any precautions to prevent having more kids.
Around the end of April, the OP found out she was five weeks pregnant and her husband “was shocked [and] extremely excited.”
“We told our families and they were overjoyed for us too,” she added.
But one of them might have been too excited.
Her mother-in-law was thrilled.
In fact, ever since she told her MIL that she was pregnant “she has tried to take over everything; baby shower, nursery, and she had to be the first to know the gender.”
And now MIL has told the OP and her husband that it’s tradition in their family for the grandmother to name the baby, be at the birth, and “hold the baby before the father.”
But the parents were pretty dubious about this 'tradition.'
“Me and my husband have already told her no, and she threw a fit and tried to tell us it’s tradition,” the OP recalled.
Her husband apparently has never even heard of this “tradition.”
“And MIL said it was an agreement between her and the parents about to have the baby, something not to be discussed,” she wrote.
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Her husband called his brother and his sister and apparently his mom has tried to float the old 'tradition' line on them, too.
They didn’t fall for it either and decided to give his mom “minimal info or false info.”
“MIL has tried to get any info out of me,” the OP wrote. “And when I don’t give her any she starts crying going on about how it’s her last grandchild and how she needs to be there. Me and husband have both been ignoring her since but she doesn’t seem to understand boundaries.”
Most people agreed: this tradition was BS.
“Wow, sounds like a ‘tradition’ she came up with!” one person commented.
“All traditions are 100% optional, doesn’t matter if they’re new or old, who made them up, some dude hundreds of years ago, or your MIL right now,” someone else pointed out. “‘Tradition’ isn’t an argument for anything. With each one come the breaking of old ones. You do whatever you feel like.”
“‘Traditions’ are just peer pressure from dead people,” another commenter wrote. “I read that here somewhere and it’s just so true. You’re under no obligation to submit to it. Follow the advice you’re given here and you’ll be okay. No info or false info, get her used to you two not answering texts or calls right away (otherwise a missed call or unanswered text will alert her you’re in labor), and start pushing your boundaries and applying punishment for not listening.”
And it seems like the OP really took the Reddit comments to heart.
She came up with a full plan of action, but has lingering concerns about what will happen when the big day comes.
“One thing that someone brought up was how she would feel when her blood related grandbaby is born, and all the sudden my other children are no longer as important, this actually freaks me out,” she wrote.
But as long as she and her husband stay on the same page, that’s all that matters.
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