What constitutes being a good parent? Is it the amount of money one spends on their child? Is it the types of food they feed them? What about the amount of screen time they allow? Or does it come down to the amount of time they spend together? There really is no one answer — it’s purely subjective — but one mom knows what works for her. Lucy Parker claims that time apart makes her a better parent.
Parker, a freelance marketer living in Australia, told SWNS via the New York Post that when she was married and raising her young daughters with her husband, she felt “run into the ground.” Now that the pair are apart and have shared custody of their daughters, ages 6 and 4, life is much happier for everyone.
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No one said being a parent is easy.
Many people will tell you that having a loving and caring partner to help raise children makes things much easier, but Parker is not one of those people. Instead of being a full-time mom, she and her ex-husband each have time they spend with their girls, freeing up her schedule for other things.
“It doesn’t mean you don’t love your kids because you don’t want to see them every day. My kids don’t want to see me every day. I don’t think that makes me a bad mom — not wanting to be with your kids 24/7,” Parker explained to SWNS.
Parker wanted a career and kids.
But she found that being married and a full-time mom didn’t allow her to have everything she wanted. She said that just because she and her kids aren’t always together does not make her a bad parent.
“The last six years I have felt like I have not been fully present as a mom or businesswoman. It’s become vital for us both that we have been able to have that break,” she shared.
She spread herself too thin.
As time went on, she wanted to make more money, but that meant spending more time away from her children. She was the primary income earner, which made things complicated.
“We just couldn’t catch a break. I lost money going back to a corporate job and putting kids in care,” she told SWNS, per the New York Post.
When she and her husband decided to divorce, she had an epiphany. “We said we’ll split the care 50/50. As soon as that happened, I went ‘OMG I’m going to get a break,'” she explained.
She felt emotional at first.
Parker admitted that being away from her girls was hard and she cried a lot, but then she realized she had more time to explore other interests.
“That week, I don’t have them all. I can catch up and get ahead. Now I have split I have started dating — I can do it when my kids are not there. That’s my time to do what I want to do,” she explained. “My dream has always been to travel and I had put that on hold. Now I can do that – just every other week. I’m filling up my cup. I can come home and say look at what mommy did this week. I have the energy.”
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Parker says her daughters get the best of both worlds.
She and their father offer different opportunities for the girls, and they benefit from the arrangement. Above all, it works for them.
“It’s OK to ask for a break. It’s OK to not want to be around your kids 24/7. If it’s damaging your health or mental health, try and do something that is going to help,” she said. “If you’re not at your best, it trickles down to the kids. That’s when they suffer.”
She has caught some flak after sharing her story on social media.
Lucy explained to the Daily Mail that she has gotten all sorts of people criticizing her lifestyle. Some have said, her story “broke” their “heart,” and others have questioned her choices asking questions like, “‘why did you have kids then?”
Still, Lucy feels confident her decisions and wants other parents to know they don’t have to feel ashamed for choosing to do the same.
