When we leave our kids in the care of other people, we hope that they are loved and cared for as if we were there with them. Some families don’t have that support, and others are very lucky with several people who love our kids as their own.
For one mom, she thought her family cared for her daughter but recently discovered that when she was away and her pre-teen daughter was with her mom and cousin, things weren’t what they appeared.
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The mom took to Reddit to get advice after discovering what her daughter was subjected to when she was in the care of others.
Posting to Reddit’s AITA community, the mom gave some details before jumping into the situation.
"My (42f) cousin (40f) sometimes stays in mine and my husband's vacation home which is like an hour away from our town," she began.
"My mother also lives there regularly. Sometimes my mother will take my daughter in the vacation home during the time periods when my daughter has no school. My daughter is 12."
The mom's cousin has two kids of her own, 9 years old and 3 years old.
"This time my cousin stayed at the vacation house during Xmas period," she explained. “Due to mine and my husband's work schedule we couldn't have time off during Xmas so my daughter went to stay there with my mom and my cousin and her kids.”
As summer is quickly approaching, the mom shared that she asked her daughter if she wanted to go back to the vacation home. But her daughter had a stipulation that caught her off guard.
"Recently we started talking summer plans and my daughter said she doesn't want to go to the vacation home if my cousin and her kids are also there during summer," the mom wrote.
She wanted her daughter to explain why, and that’s when she discovered what Christmas vacation was like for her.
"After I asked her to explain, my daughter told me that my cousin would always yell at her and force her to babysit the kids so she could smoke, watch TV or be on her phone," the mom explained.
"She would also ban my daughter from doing her interests," she continued. "My daughter loves gaming and we've got her her first gaming pc which she brought with her on the vacation house. My cousin apparently banned my daughter from playing at her pc because she's giving a bad example to her kids and that as long as she's around, my daughter is not allowed to play games."
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The stories kept coming.
"My daughter also told me that one night she was watching Lord of the Rings and my cousin's oldest daughter saw some scenes, got scared and started crying and that night my cousin forced my daughter to give her the dvds of the movie and banned her from watching TV or movies without her permission," she continued.
After hearing all this, the mom asked her mom why she didn’t say anything or help her daughter when she felt she was being bullied. "I confronted my mom and asked her why she didn't do anything about any of this and she said she wasn't aware because my cousin probably did all these when my mom would not be present," she added.
"I have a hard time believing that but my mom apologised both to me and my daughter," she shared. "I called my cousin and cussed her off for how she treated my daughter and I reminded her that she's only a guest at a house I and my husband own and it's also my daughter's house and she's got no right bossing around my daughter."
At first, her cousin understood – but that didn’t last long.
"She apologised at first but then defended herself saying that as an adult she's also responsible for my daughter and she did what she thought was best," the mom recalled. "My husband and I decided to give her one more chance but told her she'll be banned from being a guest if she does this again."
All that was settled, she thought, but her mom called and said she wasn’t being fair.
That’s why the mom took to Reddit. She asked the community to weigh in on if she was in the wrong.
Most people agreed that she wasn’t.
"If she’s not planning on continuing the behavior, she shouldn’t be mad at the fact she’ll be banned if she does it again," one Redditor shared.
"What you did is called setting a boundary," another person replied. "Anyone who violates that boundary has a consequence. If someone is mad that you've set a boundary, it's because they intend to violate it."
"You[r] mother was aware and didn't care enough or think it mattered to step in and protect your daughter," someone else shared. "She's showing that bias by siding with the cousin now. If you leave your daughter alone with them again, don't do it without security cameras you can access and clear instructions and a means for your daughter to contact you if she's being bullied again."
It’s not surprising mom was putting hard boundaries down. Hopefully it’s not going to happen again.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
