There are so many things we have to worry about when we’re pregnant. We’re not only responsible for keeping ourselves safe from harm but also our growing baby. Although our bodies are going through big changes, we’re not totally helpless. The last thing we want is to be left out of fun family celebrations because we’re pregnant. As long as we’re being mindful of any safety issues, assuming someone can’t participate in fun simply because of a pregnancy can lead to hurt feelings.
That's exactly what happened to one family. Assumptions were made about someone's participation in an event because she was pregnant.
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One woman has found herself at odds with her sister-in-law and needing some advice.
Not sure what to do, the original poster took to Reddit’s AITA community to explain the issue that popped up in her family in hopes there would be some advice on where she and her fiancé went wrong, if they did, and how to move forward.
"Me (f29) and my fiancé (m30) have birthdays one after another," OP began her post. "Due to this we normally have a joint celebration. This time it falls on this weekend."
This year, OP and her fiancé wanted to do something a little different.
'We booked a theme park about 8 months in advance due to popularity,' she explained.
"The theme park [lets] you ride different roller coasters and also have some activities after hours," OP continued. "You also share the park with the few groups and the activity is intended for all groups who booked (so in total there's about 100 people in the park at the time)."
OP explained that most of the rides are for people 14 and older, and the activities involve "either a zombie or murder theme, where you need to escape and generally involves a lot of activity from people," she explained. "It can get pretty scary."
It’s the perfect way for OP and her fiancé to celebrate their birthdays. So they got ready to send out the invitations.
"Now it is time to send invites. We are being sensible and are trying to invite family and friends who would enjoy such activities and have a meal with the older and younger family members the day after," she wrote. "The booking lasts between 10:30 p.m. to about 3 a.m., so it starts on my birthday and finishes on my fiancé's."
OP’s SIL Rosie was excited about the fun birthday festivities. OP and her fiancé had intended to invite her, especially because she already had arranged babysitting for her older kids.
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That was the case until Rose announced she was pregnant.
"At the end of last year Rosie has announced she is pregnant with her 3rd child, which me and my fiancé congratulated her with," OP wrote. "She is currently heavily pregnant and struggles to move or bend, which is understandable. She is also due in about 3/4 weeks."
Because Rosie is pregnant, OP and her fiancé decided "not to invite Rosie to the theme park for the safety reasons since she will not be able to get on any of the rides and will feel left out and she won't be able to participate in the activity after as it is fast paced."
"She was still invited and more [than] welcome to the meal the next day on my fiancé birthday which we are paying for," OP explained.
Although it sounds like OP had the best interests of her SIL at heart, it blew up in her face.
"When we broke the news to Rosie she didn't sound happy," OP confessed. "She got cold and distant and after we got a few nasty messages from her partner and my other older in-laws for not inviting her and calling me and my fiance a–holes over it."
That’s when OP turned things over to Reddit, hoping people would weigh in and let her know if she was wrong for not inviting her SIL out of fears for her safety.
"Rosie is a big girl," someone replied. "Let her make her own decisions and make it very clear, she cannot participate on the rides but if she wants to come and just be there well, that’s up to her."
"You invite so she can decline," another commenter wrote. "Or she can go and enjoy vicariously."
"It doesn't make much sense to invite her because she can't participate," added someone else. "At the same time, you're excluded from doing so much already while pregnant, this was probably upsetting to her."
No one likes to have decisions made for them, and being pregnant doesn’t mean she is incapable of deciding for herself what she can or can’t do.
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