A TikToker who goes by @karpoozy and frequently posts content related to adoption is calling out a mother who shared in a series of Facebook posts that she "hated" her adoptive daughter. The video has been viewed more than 300,000 times, and TikTok users were shocked at the mother’s comments. Even though the adoptive mother brought her daughter home at 14 months and she is now 13 years old, the mother did not seem to attribute her daughters "bad behavior" to her own attitude and behavior toward her.
The TikToker posted the video with text overlay that reads, “Some say adoption, I say buyers remorse.”
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Adoption can be a difficult process, but that's no excuse for this mother’s comments.
Being a parent comes with a lot of challenges and difficulties, and the adoption process no doubt has its own unique challenges. Still, it’s hard to read the comments this mother posted on social media about her adoptive daughter. TikToker @karpoozy shared screenshots of the mother’s Facebook posts with the name scratched out.
One of the first posts shared in a series of posts shared, “I think I really despise my daughter who I adopted from Russia at 14 months. She is 13 now. I wish our agency did more to warn prospective parents about the possibility of rad," the adoptive mother wrote. "Now I feel trapped and on guard all the time. She is inappropriate, she steals, lies, hoards food and garbage, is completely disorganized, disrespectful, and I wish she was gone.”
The mother mentions the possibility of her adoptive daughter having a ‘rare’ disorder.
Many of the complaints the mother mentioned are completely normal behavior for a 13-year old such as lying, being disrespectful, disorganized, etc. However, the mother also mentions RAD, which stands for reactive attachment disorder. This is a rare condition in which children don’t establish healthy attachments with parents or caregivers, per Mayo Clinic.
The recommended treatment for RAD involves creating a nurturing environment and positive interactions between the child and their caregiver, according to the Mayo Clinic. Sadly, it sounds like both nurturing and positivity may have been in short supply if this mother’s Facebook posts are any indicator of her relationship with her daughter.
The teen years are known to be more difficult for parents, but this mother’s words seemed particularly and unnecessarily harsh.
The mother followed up on her first post with another two years later that said, “I despise my daughter so much. Please tell me I’m not the only one. I’m sorry, I grew up in a happy, healthy home and now I’m stuck with this.”
In another post, the mother was even more harsh. She said they had to go to a memorial service for her father, and her adoptive daughter was "furious" about going and said the family members all "hate her" and other hateful things.
“I feel she is pure evil. I do not like her," the mother wrote. "I do not love her. I do not want her.”
The lengthy post ended with the mother writing, “She has spent her entire life pushing me away. Mission accomplished. She will be cut off at 18 and an orphan again.”
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TikTok users were shocked at the mother’s comments.
TikTokers commented in agreement on the video that the adoptive mother did not seem to be taking any responsibility for the teenager’s behavior as any reflection of her own attitude toward her, despite raising the girl since she was 14 months old.
“She adopted a BABY how does she possibly think that those issues aren’t cause she’s a bad parent?!” one person commented.
“If they adopted her at 14 months that’s legit the way they raised her,” another TikToker commented.
Someone else pointed out that the teen years are hard and this mother seemed to use the fact that the daughter wasn’t biologically hers as a reason to quit. “Ooooorrrrrrr you’re struggling with a teenager and the only reason you consider ‘giving them away’ is because they aren't yours,” the comment read.
