Those first weeks of pregnancy can be a wild ride — filled with shock, excitement, and plenty of nausea. (So fun!) But for most women, it can also a time of intense secrecy. If you haven't yet hit the 12-week mark, you've likely been keeping the baby news quiet. That said, you and your partner should start to feel more comfortable letting the cat out of the bag once things are officially confirmed by your doc.
Telling your own parents that you're pregnant will probably be a walk in the park, but depending on how close you are with your partner's parents, it may not come as naturally. Read on for ways to make the moment feel special and fun, even if you're not BFFs with your MIL.
Do: Set clear terms and/or boundaries with your partner beforehand.
Maybe you get along famously with your in-laws (in which case, congrats — you can ignore this advice!). But if not, you're far from alone. Not every in-law relationship is smooth sailing, which can make even special moments like this one a little tricky to navigate.
If you're in this boat, now's the time to let your partner know how you want this little chat to go, and this includes drawing boundary lines about what is and isn't OK. In other words, if you're afraid your pushy MIL is going to invite herself into the delivery room, speak up now so you're on the same page.
Don't: Let them know they weren't the first ones to hear the news.
You're the one who's pregnant, so it's only natural that you told your own parents first. But this is your in-laws' grandbaby, too, and they likely don't want to be reminded that they're second fiddle.
Just keep that part under wraps if you suspect that there might be some awkwardness or hurt feelings.
Do: Take a back seat and let your partner lead the way.
Your partner knows his or her parents better than you do, so let your partner do the talking on this one. Remember, you'll be getting lots of attention for the next nine months as it is, and this is a moment they've likely thought about for some time.
Let 'em have their moment!
Don't: Be too impersonal, quiet, or guarded.
To you, they might "just" be your in-laws, but they're the grandparents of this baby. The relationship they will have with your child should be totally separate from the one you have, so keep that in mind if you're trying to navigate any tension. (Remember, if you freeze them out now, who knows what things will be like for your kid in the future.)
Do: Ask all your burning pregnancy questions.
(Within reason, of course.)
Even if you're not super close with your MIL, sharing happy pregnancy news is likely to make both of you giddy. Go with it! This could be a major bonding moment for the two of you, and if it's your first baby, it could even be valuable learning experience.
Depending on your MIL's own parenting journey, ask her what her childbirth experience was like, how your partner was as a baby, or any other little questions about motherhood that you may be curious about. She can let you in on some secrets about her own experience, and maybe even lend a few funny stories or words of wisdom for you that'll bring you comfort.
Don't: Get upset if they're not overly excited.
Becoming a parent is a huge (and sometimes scary) change, but in some ways, so is becoming a grandparent. After all, they're lives are about to change in a big way, too!
Hearing that you're pregnant may remind them that their own "baby" isn't such a baby anymore. Or, maybe it makes them feel like time passing by way too quickly, and that they're getting older.
Either way, remember that people process things differently. Give them some time to adjust if they don't immediately jump for joy or react the way you expect them to. And if they don't eventually come around, that's honestly their loss.
Do: Bring a little something "extra" to make them feel involved.
If you already have a sonogram photo, bring it! Or, if you feel comfortable enough, throw that positive pee stick in your purse so you can whip it out and show them the good news. Some couples even frame the sonogram and gift it as a gift, or gift their in-laws with a surprise onesie to spill the beans.
There are all sorts of fun and creative ways to announce that you're pregnant, so don't be afraid to do something that will make the moment even more special. Brainstorm ideas beforehand with your partner and remember, their parents are most likely going to be excited, so sharing a little glimpse of your baby-to-be or some other fun aspect of your journey so far will make them feel even closer to the happy news.
