So, you've got a teenage boy leaving for college next year, and you want to make sure he's not one of those guys, the kinds of guys who get drunk and rape drunk girls. We hear a lot about those stories, and for parents they're scary for two reasons. One, you don't want your son to rape a girl, EVER. Two, you don't want your son falsely accused of raping a girl.
One mom of a teenage boy made a strong case for preparing sons to have consensual sex and only consensual sex while way from home. Part of her solution: Get confirmation via text message from a girl before sex. Just in case later on things get, you know, murky. So here's how I see this safe-sext conversation going down.
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Freddy: Roxy, will you have sex with me?
Roxy: WTF, put your damn phone away
Freddy: No, I have to do this before we have sex. Do you consent to sex with me?
Roxy: You're spoiling the mood
Freddy: But will you
Roxy: Why do you need to do this via text weirdo
Freddy: Just in case you try and accuse me of rape later on
Roxy: O_O
Freddy: LOL
Roxy: That's not even a thing asshole
Freddy: I'm not saying you'd ever do that! I just promised my mom
And so much for Freddy's sex life. This isn't going to work any better than those consensual sex conversations we were all supposed to be happening in the mid-90s. (Anyone else remember?) Sex doesn't work like that. Worse, this little exercise teaches boys that girls lie about consensual sex — that there's some duplicitous/flaky/psycho vixen out there waiting to trap your DS with false rape allegations. But the truth is, false rape allegations are extremely rare.
We need to stop telling our sons that false rape accusations are a thing, because they're not. But binge drinking? That is definitely a thing. And it's a much bigger problem. Before the "misunderstanding" about sex there is the alcohol. Before it gets to that (whatever THAT is) we need to work on teaching our kids not to get crazy drunk — our daughters and our sons. Or is that too awkward and uncomfortable a conversation?
What kinds of conversations about alcohol have you had with your teen, if any?
Image via Ken Banks/Flickr
