Kids and church can be a dangerous mix: As the sermons and organ music drone on, little ones are bound to get antsy — and start doing and saying things that draw some undue attention to your pew. But fear not: you're far from alone in the struggle to keep the kids in line while the pastor preaches.
Check out these hilarious stories from other parents about church moments with kids that made them blush big time.
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So That's What Happened to Jesus!
"At Christmas service, the pastor was talking about Jesus, and my 6-year-old shrieks 'Wait! Mom! Jesus DIED?' Laughter all around and the pastor said 'Son, let your mom know it's okay to come to church every week, not just on Christmas and Easter.'" -
What a Gas
"The last Christmas Mass I went to with my family was to this really uptight church by my mom's house. During the homily my sister, who was about 3 at the time, started having really bad gas. I swear she was making the loudest fart sounds I have ever heard that were echoing throughout the Church. My mom was trying to get her out of there, but since we were in the middle of the row, she was having a hard time getting around people. It was so bad that the priest stopped talking and stared at us until my mom made it out." -
Are You There God?
"It was an Easter Sunday, church was packed, so my 6-year-old son and I just stood with the others since the pews were taken. Then right out of the blue, my son asked me, 'Where's God?' I was so embarrassed, although the people around us chuckled." -
Bare Your … Soul?
"When my daughter was about 11 months old, we attended a special Mass. My daughter, who was still breastfeeding, waited until the Mass started, and as the priest had a moment of silence before announcements, she squealed loudly, 'neenees!' Then she pulled my dress and my strapless bra below my breasts! Needless to say, the priest, principal, and all of the attendants who turned around quite quickly got a full two-second view of my boobs! I wanted to die of embarrassment." -
That's a Pew, That's a Priest…
"My daughter was 3 when we went to church where my parents live, as it was around Christmas time and I thought it would be nice to go to a service. She says loudly, 'What are these, Mummy?' I explained they were pews. Obviously we hadn't been in a church! People around who heard her just laughed, but I sure felt sheepish!" -
Call of Nature
"Two years ago when my youngest stepson was 5 years old, we were at Mass on a typical Sunday morning. He is always trying to get out of sitting through Mass, so when he starts talking to us, we generally ignore him. Only on this particular Sunday after several minutes of unsuccessfully trying to get my husband's attention, my son jumped up and yelled, 'I gotta poop!' before running for the door. You would think this is as bad as this story could get, but as he ran up the aisle, he pulled down his pants, essentially mooning the priest. He almost made it to the door but he wasn't fast enough: He dropped a load right there in front of the entire horrified congregation."More from The Stir: 10 Most Embarrassing Things Kids Say
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Swear to God It's True
"When my granddaughter was 5 years old, I took her to church with me. Over the pulpit, the speaker was talking about the life of Jesus Christ. Upon hearing the man say, Jesus Christ, my granddaughter blurted out, 'Oh Grandma, he said a bad word!'" -
Share a Snack?
"My son was 4 months old and fussy during service, so another church member offered to take him for a few minutes to give me a break. He was bouncing my son around, gently, but right when he lifted him into the air, my son puked my breast milk into the church member's open mouth." -
Birds and the Bees
"My friend's 4-year-old daughter had just learned about the differences between boys and girls. She looked at the preacher and told him, 'Boys have penises and girls have vaginas.'" -
Dress Up and Down
"It was the very first time at a new church, and my 6-year-old daughter kept lifting her dress and hiding her face with it. She was wearing thick pantyhose, but you could still see her undies! I kept pulling it down and telling her to stop, behave, nice little girls do to lift their dresses! I don't know how many times I used the Lord's name in vain that day." -
Run for the Alter
"When our son was 2, I was trying to get my infant adjusted when my son took off running toward the alter screaming 'JEEBUS JEEBUS JEEBUS!' in the loudest voice I have ever heard. I couldn't catch him without dropping my infant daughter and it's a small church so everyone looked at me like I was worst mom ever." -
Exorcism, Anyone?
"My friend's kid screamed, 'The power of Christ compels you!' during the Catholic Mass, right when the priest lifted the host as he was prepping for communion. I don't know how the kid knew that line from The Exorcist -
Satan? In Church?
"When my granddaughter was 6, a lady wearing all black with a red and black cape-like sweater was leading the music while we sang hymns at church. My granddaughter blurted out, 'Look Grandma, there's the devil!' All eyes were on us, and many couldn't control their laughter. I quietly explained to her, "No, that's just a nice lady who leads the music.'" -
Video Game Victory
"At our Catholic church my 5-year-old was playing Super Mario on a tiny game console. Right when everyone was kneeling in prayer, he shouted, 'I beat the level, YES YESSS.' Everyone looked at him then started laughing. The priest came down the aisle to our pew and said chuckling, 'Son, why don't you come help me up front and say a prayer with me?'
What is the most embarrassing thing your kids have done in church?
Image via © iStock.com/kokophoto
