Sitting down to eat dinner as a family is an important tradition in many houses. Not only is eating dinner together an important way for families to bond, it also gives you the opportunity to share some laughs as kids will bring their funny, sometimes brutal, senses of humor to the table.
Whether it is a frank assessment of the quality of dinner or some seriously unauthorized use of forks (see #9!), these real kids are bringing the funny to the table!
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Carrot Problems
"I was in the kitchen getting drinks for the kids when my son yelled, 'Hey, Mom! Guess what? These carrots are too big to fit in my nose!' I'm so glad he decided to check that for me. I had really been wondering." — Ashley R., Abilene, Texas
Best Cook Ever
"We had just gotten back from vacation and so I didn't have a lot in the house for dinner, so the kids ended up getting a dinner of frozen pizza, yogurt tubes, canned peaches, and half a donut each. My normally picky 3-year-old looked at it and said, 'Mama! You are the best cook ever! You should be on TV!' Gee, thanks." — Maya L., Portland, Oregon
So Sad
"I try, and fail, to make sure my kids get a vegetable at every meal. One day I served broccoli with cheese sauce. My 5-year-old took one look at it and heaved a deep sigh. 'Why did you give me broccoli? You know broccoli makes my heart sad.' So tragic." — Louise D., Saint Paul, Minnesota
Oh Peas
"We were eating peas with our dinner one night when my son piped up with, 'Hey, have you guys ever noticed that peas are the same color as my boogers?' My husband thought it was hilarious; I couldn't finish mine after that." — Laura T., Gilbert, Arizona
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Not at the table!
"My boys know that a family rule is 'no passing gas at the table' — yes, after three boys, I had to make that a rule — so one night at dinner, my 2-year-old hopped out of his chair and hid under the table.
I asked him what he was doing and he said, 'I'm tooting! But I UNDER the table. Not at table!'" — Claire R., Lawrence, Kansas
Not That Kind of Guy
"My son is super picky and I'm trying not to make every meal a battle, but it is tough. One night I gave him a plate with some veggies on it and — horrors! — they were touching his chicken fingers. He looked at it, burst into tears, and then sobbed, 'Why would you do that to me? You know I'm just not a vegetable kind of guy!' He was so melodramatic about it that I had to leave the table so I wouldn't laugh in his face." — Andrea E., Lansing, Michigan
Mmm, Bacon!
"My 10-year-old daughter decided she loved animals too much to keep eating meat so she became a vegan. My 8-year-old son is a happy carnivore.
One night we were having breakfast for dinner, including bacon. My son was happily chowing down when his sister, disgusted, said, 'You know you are eating cute piggies, right?'
He quickly stuffed another piece in his mouth and happily replied, 'Mmmm, I love to eat cute dead piggies!' She burst into tears; my husband burst into laughter." — Melissa K., Toledo, Ohio
Beans, Beans
"My dumb husband taught the kids the 'Beans, beans the magical fruit' song, so of course the next time I served rice and beans for dinner, my daughter refused to eat any, even though she loves my beans.
She looked so sad and then said, 'I just can't eat them. I don't want to toot ever again. Tooting is so embarrassing.'
I wish my husband felt the same." — Maria H., Orlando, Florida
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Stick a Fork in Him
"We were all eating our spaghetti when my 4-year-old son said, 'My booty was really itchy, but did you know forks make good scratchers?' And then he took another big bite of spaghetti off his fork. So gross but so funny." — Sarah J., Thousand Oaks, California
For the Dogs
"I left the table to get something and came back and all of my daughter's broccoli was gone. I asked her if she ate it all and she said, 'Nope! I fed some to the dog!'
Now, this might not be funny in other houses, but we don't have a dog. And I still don't know where that broccoli went." — Missy M., Isle, Minnesota
Butter Me Up
"My son was eating his food, including some buttery garlic bread, and then said, 'Why doesn't EVERY food have butter on it? Butter makes everything better. I think butter is my favorite food. Is there such a thing as butter ice cream?'
I'm thinking he is either going to be a chef or a dairy farmer when he grows up." — Grace J., Santa Fe, New Mexico
Unhappy
"My daughter was sitting at the table long after everyone else was gone because she was refusing to try even one bite of her dinner. She finally took a bite (of plain pasta) and then looked at me and said, 'Tell me the truth — why don't you want me to be happy?'
I burst into laughter. She wasn't amused." — Kelly S., St. Paul, Minnesota
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