It's impossible for parents to be at all places at the same time, so many moms decide to split their attention by focusing on where they're needed most. The only problem is, moms tend to overlook their own needs when it comes between doing something for themselves or their children. The kiddos will typically win every time, leaving mom overtired or feeling guilty if she dares indulge in any self-care. As a busy mom, Kristen Hewitt realized it doesn't matter what a mom needs — whether it's time to shower, get her nails done, or take a workout class — she deserves time, too. So she finally made the decision to put herself before one of her kids' events.
"So I did something that some may think is selfish recently, but I really needed it," she wrote on her Facebook page. "I missed my daughter’s honor roll assembly so I could work out."
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Despite what some haters might think, Kristen — who works in sports broadcasting and runs a lifestyle blog — explained that this was an incredibly difficult decision, and the guilt started to creep in. "But then I remembered ME, and how hard Thanksgiving and the week that followed was with my husband traveling. How hard it was to deal with the tantrums that were never-ending," she wrote. "How hard it was to manage my anxiety, the house, the kids, the pets, and work. And how hard it’s been to not have one single minute to myself."
In addition to doing something for herself that would ultimately make her a better mom, Kristen taught her daughter an important lesson: Moms matter too. "I talked to her about how proud I was of her, but let her know I have to work a game tonight and needed to take care of myself this morning. She also had her father and grandmother attending in my place," she wrote. "Guess what. She understood, gave me a hug, and thanked me for all I do for her. She also learned by example today that SELF-CARE matters."
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Instead of feeling like she was the only one who could be there for her daughter, Kristen made the tough choice to take a step back. She knew that other family was cheering her on so that Kristen could focus on herself for a minute — and she has zero regrets about it. "Sometimes as parents we have to make hard decisions and show up for ourselves instead of showing up for our kids," she wrote. "And you know what? It’s not selfish — it’s called self-love."
Despite fearing that she'd be shamed for getting real and sharing her story, Kristen learned how quick fellow mamas were to rally around her with support:
Not all parents might agree with her decision, but hopefully Kristen's story serves as a reminder for all moms: You deserve to come first every once in a while!
