Despite being experienced parents themselves, there's one things our moms and dads might not know: that they had it easy. If you ask millennial moms, many will tell you that grandma and grandpa lucked out to be parents during the "good old days" and that they have it much harder now than previous generations can imagine. Laura Mazza is one of these "modern" parents who sees that sh*t isn't as easy as it used to be — despite what people may think.
"Do you know what you had to do to be a good parent in the 80’s? You had to make sure your kids didn’t drink the cask of Tropicana in the fridge that probably tasted the same as fruit free juice that you’d put in your 2-month-old's bottles," Mazza wrote on Facebook. "Sure, we know better now. But there’s a reason our grandmothers had 15 kids and we struggle with two. And it’s because parenting today is terrible."
The pregnant mom of two and blogger behind Mum on the Run realizes that the crazy amount of pressure moms put on themselves has skyrocketed over the years. For pretty much all other generations, every single thing — including pouring a glass a milk — didn't turn into a production like it does today.
"You wanted milk? You got it," she wrote. "And there were no arguments or rushes to change the cup and pour it again to the blue one because if you didn’t you were f*cking them up longterm. You were the boss not them … No arguments over what milk is better from captain perfect parent, whether it should have been coconut, almond milk, soy, milk squeezed from the metaphorical titties of pistachios. No, people let you just do your thing."
And this insane stress — starting from the moment you conceive — is damn maddening. "There was no pressure in pregnancy to love it, to take three different types of multivitamins, meditate four times a day and sing to your baby while you moisturize your stretch marks away and any other sign that you carried a beautiful child," she wrote. "No pressure to birth that child in the most 'perfect way' and be out to fend for yourself in two days with your vagina falling to the floor and a deep abdominal incision."
Instead, moms today are agonizing over meeting milestones at the same time as everyone else on Facebook and making sure that their babies look perfect enough for the cooing strangers at the grocery store. "No pressure to breastfeed, no shame for formula feeding when you legitimately cannot breastfeed, no, you were in the hospital for a few weeks while someone taught you how to do all the shit people just ASSSUME you’re meant to know," she wrote. "Because nowadays if you don't know… you’re shit. (No one told me the baby shits out black Tar! You know how hard it was to act like I was cool with that? GTFOH)."
But now, thanks to social media and a shift in society, it isn't just the mommy shamers who are parents' biggest critics — moms are the critics themselves. "[There used to be] no pressure to attend the gym, drink broccoli smoothies, clean the house, make home made lunches that are Pinterest worthy in a BPA, recycled from bamboo and elderflower lunch box, no pressure to educate her child to fully read at an adult level before they hit first grade, nurse her baby for 2 years (but no longer than that because she’s a pervert otherwise…)," she wrote. "No pressure to take the perfect picture for Instagram that didn’t show any mess or anything unsafe in the background just in case child protection was called because one child was missing a sock."
Moms of the past also didn't torture themselves over every second they were away from their kids — they could actually take some time for themselves and enjoy it. "No one shamed anyone for having a weekend away…" she wrote. "No, our parents left us with a random babysitter while they went and got shit-faced at a disco."
The difference is simple: back then parents were just parents and nothing more complicated than that. "They had their children, they dressed them like dorks, and they loved them, and that’s all they had to worry about," she wrote. "There was no pressure to be this unattainable kind of perfect that has somehow been thrusted upon us through judgements from ourselves, from others and fuck, from everywhere."
So it's no wonder why moms today are so damn tired. On top of being paranoid that every decision they make is going to ruin their kids, moms are also trying to be the perfect woman, wife, mother, and social media goddess. At the same time, they're also worrying about bills, emails, and what everyone around them thinks.
"Must buy organic vegetables and hide them in grass-fed chicken mince to make real nuggets, worrying and worrying and worrying trying to be ALL OF IT, so they can grow up happy and healthy and we can say we did the best job…" she wrote. "And yet they say that the generations are growing up unhappier. You know why? Because we are too busy in our own heads trying to be it all when it just isn’t what they need."
But the truth is, kids today are no different than those in the past, and they only need one thing: loving parents. The sooner that moms stop agonizing over whether every move they make is going to f*ck them up and just remember that you're doing a good job, the happier they will be in the end.
"No more exhaustion and being a 'Barbie' equivalent parent. WE are more educated now, but doesn’t mean we should sacrifice a kidney to prove our love. We don’t need to," Mazza wrote. "Take a deep breath and know even if they eat chicken nuggets frozen from Aldi, they’re gonna be okay."
