A new mom has an important message for those who are thinking about having kids. At about three weeks postpartum, Sahar Taylor realized that as she stayed at home caring for her newborn while her friends were out living life, she didn’t envy them — but only because she did so much before deciding to have children. In a video that has gone viral, Sahar stated, “I don’t know who needs to hear this, but please make sure that you go and live your life before you have a child.”
She explained that her friends are doing amazing things right now.
In her video shared on TikTok, Sahar explained that although it’s summer, she can’t travel or really go out a ton because she had a newborn who hasn’t gotten her vaccines yet. Meanwhile, her friends appear to be having lots of fun. “My friends are out in the world,” she said. “Mykonos, going on dates, in New York, like just living it up.”
They’ve been sharing updates with her — but she’s not bitter about it.
@sistalkswithsahar The Mediterranean is going to have to see me asap though. #forthegirls #advice #lifeadvice ♬ original sound – Sahar Khorram
Sahar explained that there’s only one reason why she hasn’t felt “bitter” or overwhelmed by FOMO. “The only reason that I am not bitter and I’m having a great time in this stage of my life while also being able to be there for them and enjoying watching them in their stage of their life is because I have lived a life,” she said.
Because she has “traveled the world” and “done the things,” she’s simply happy for her friends and able to appreciate the stage of life she’s in right now.
She thinks the postpartum stage would feel a lot more difficult if she hadn’t done that.
“I can only imagine how hard this stage and sitting at home could feel like when the rest of your friends are doing things because you would feel like you’re missing out,” Sahar continued. “So make sure you go and live your life before you decide to go into this stage of life.”
Some people didn’t really agree with this take.
Commenting on the video, some parents reminded people that life doesn’t end after having kids. One person wrote: “I had my child at 20 and I still managed to have a rich and full life AND take her on amazing trips. Life doesn’t stop when you become a [mom], at whatever age that is.”
Another person noted, “But here’s the plot twist … you don’t have to let children stop you from living life.”
But Sahar didn’t mean to suggest that her life was over. She even said she would start traveling and doing more again once her daughter’s a bit older. During an interview with Newsweek, the new mom added, “I plan on living a life that’s fun, full, and unforgettable — because I want that to be my daughter’s baseline.”
She also explained that because she “came into motherhood already full,” she “didn’t have a child to fill a void or fix something broken” and “don’t put that kind of burden on her existence.”
It was a message that many needed to hear.
Though some people didn’t seem to agree with the new mom, many praised her for being honest about motherhood. “Yes!!!” one person commented on the video. “I had my first son at 20 … it’s rare for someone to tell you the harsh truth about missing out due to being a young parent but I wish someone would’ve told me!”
A second person wrote, “I love when mothers are honest & tell other women to have fun instead of going around telling women who are having fun to hurry into motherhood.”
Sahar told Newsweek that many women have said the video resonated with them. “It reminded me how universal this tension is — the fear of losing yourself, the desire to do life on your own terms,” she told the publication.
