Moms can learn so much about breastfeeding through books, from other moms, by reading articles online and in magazines, from stories from their own mother and grandmothers, and so on and so on. But the reality is that so many things can arise in one mother's breastfeeding journey that it could seem like there could never be enough information out there to help a mom in every way possible.
That's why interviewing 25 moms about the things they wish they knew before they started breastfeeding turned out to be such an essential list to help mamas get the best start possible. These tidbits turn into tips from breastfeeding moms on things to look out for, things to not stress about, and things to think about that may have never crossed the mind before.
Breastfeeding can be a magical journey, yes. However all magical journeys comes with bumps in the road, major and minor issues, as well as the rewards that come from overcoming the tough parts. That's what these mamas celebrate here — that they made it through with a new outlook, and some new learnings.
As these mothers reflect at all the things they wish they knew, they are doing so with love, with an appreciation for how they progressed from early motherhood to being moms of older kids, wistful for those breastfeeding days (or not).
What's important to see is that each journey, while many hold some similarities, are unique. Just as no two moms are alike, neither are two babies.
Check out these "I wish I knew" tips from moms to see if any could be helpful in your own journey.
How much it will be missed.
"I wish I knew how much I’d miss it when they were done. I also wish I knew I’d receive a lot of flack for doing it for 13 months and then 25 months. Who knew I cared about others opinions so much when it came to feeding MY child?" – Jen P.
About cluster feeding.
"I wish I knew about cluster feeding. My daughter nursed every 15-30 minutes for over five months. I was up over 15 times a night with her, I was a sleepless, touched out wreck and thought that something was wrong with her. It was horrible. It wasn’t until after she finally went down to nursing only every hour (around six months) that someone else mentioned cluster feeding and I realized I wasn’t alone." – Cody B.
Just how difficult it could be.
"I wish I knew it could be hard. And to get help! I still say a lactation consult is the. Best baby shower gift one can give." – Chelsea M.
How challenging pumping was.
"I breastfed for just over two years and pumped for one year. The pumping was hard and I would stress over my daughter having enough milk while I was away at work. At times it was hard but it was SO worth it. I’m glad I stuck with it. I remember at the beginning wanting to quit at six months. My daughter, now 3, still remembers nursing and nurses all of her dolls. The closeness of the experience we shared still is tangible. I also wish I knew that wet tea bags under a warm wash cloth under a heating pad help with clogged ducts!" – Jennie D.
To be patient.
"I wish I knew that we’d get the hang of it eventually. I was beyond stressed and anxious about it." – Jennifer S.
That exclusive pumping was an option.
"I wish I knew that exclusive pumping was even an option! Not one person mentioned that in the pre-baby classes I took, nor the lactation consultant, nor the lactation class … and I had a pump, it just didn’t even occur to me that I could use it for all milk. When I learned it was an option after several weeks of stressfully trying to feed with all sorts of positions and breastfeeding products, it was like a giant weight was lifted. And I found a fantastic FB community that answered all my questions." – Brittny D.
About milk letdown.
"[I wish I knew] about milk letdown at times when you don’t expect it — and to wear pads. I also learned that if your kid loses interest at 8 months because he wants to turn around and see the world more, accept his choice. Pump your milk and offer him a bottle." – Andrea R.
That it can hurt.
"I [breastfed] both of my boys because of all of the benefits (health wise, bonding, etc.) but the pain was still there. Not excruciating, but it wasn’t an experience that was calming and peaceful I guess you’d say? But there was no issues with them adjusting to formula. And I agree with the milk letdown. Don’t go too long without pumping because you are the one that suffers!" – Amy S.
About the pressure, and not to expect it to be magic.
"I wish I knew that my kids would still get sick all the time especially with ear nose and throat issues despite nursing for a year each. I wish instead of making it sound like some magical thing my body does someone, anyone just said, Girl … it will keep a baby alive and fed but it’s okay to be absolutely repulsed by the milk itself and the letdown sensation. I wish I hadn’t felt so much pressure to do what’s natural when it was exhausting and frustrating and emotionally draining." – Christina V.
About growth spurts.
"I wish I knew how much growth spurts would take their toll on me. Once I caught on, I could plan extra sleeping and eating. I will never forget this pattern and I share it with new moms: 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 9 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months. Did I mention my mom was a nurse in postpartum floor in hospital? Her wisdom helped!" – Maura O.
That there are resources to help.
"There are resources for however you want to feed your baby. There is no one right or wrong way. And nobody should be shamed for what they need to do. Evidence-based information should be shared in a non-judgmental way. It's okay to hate it and need to stop. It's okay to feed until you or your baby want to stop. And know your rights to breastfeed and/or pump whenever you need to. I wanted to love it, and did, but I also hated it. And that's totally normal and fine." – Stana W.
That I could wait for my milk to come in.
"I wish I knew that my child wasn't starving while I waited for my milk to come in as I was made to feel by nurses in the hospital. I had no understanding that letting them give her formula could compromise my supply, which caused me to struggle breastfeeding my firstborn." – Kelley P.
About the dryness.
"[I wish I knew about] the dryness, and what to do about it." – Jodi F.
About mastitis.
"[I wish I knew what mastitis was." – Lauren K.
That it doesn't always come naturally.
That something I assumed was so natural didn’t necessarily come so naturally. It takes work and that doesn’t mean you suck (pun intended). And about mastitis." – Liz R.
About the love/hate of it.
"I wish I knew how much I would mostly love it but sometimes hate it at the same time. That it would be one of the most physically, emotionally and mentally draining things I could ever do. That some days nursing would be as scheduled as hoped and then some days he'd be nursing all day long. And that was okay.
I wish someone told me that it may be hard for me and my partner to see my breasts as sexy while I'm nursing and for who knows how much longer past. That they've become sacred to our baby and that he may even feel a bit jealous (without saying so) and that's natural. I wish I knew that WE both may not get to have fun with them in that way right now." – Chastity C.
To take care of my nipples.
"I wish I had known to baby my nipples and not take them for granted. In the beginning, It was wonderful — nursing was like being on drugs — wish I’d known that, too. But by the time my daughter was two, I had a persistent yeast infection on both nipples. No matter what I tried, my nipples were literally coming off (still makes me shudder to think about it), but I would nurse anyway, in excruciating bloody pain. I wish I had known to take the advice seriously to gently rinse my nipples and let them thoroughly dry and not reuse the same sports bra so much." – Jane B.
That mixing in bottles can be okay.
"I wish I had know how much would leak from my opposite breast and that I should collect it for bottles. I was literally soaked for his first month. I still mourn that wasted milk 3.5 years later.
I also wished I had given him bottles early on (he never really took to them) and had not been afraid to ruin our nursing relationship. There was nothing that would have broken his preference." – Elizabeth H. G.
About lactation consultants ... and patience.
"When the lactation consultant says to squeeze your breast like you’re holding a hamburger, she means a vertical hold, not a horizontal hold (sleep deprived and worried brains don’t make the connection immediately). Also, I wish I knew that lactation consultants may not be as patient as you need, especially in the hospital." – JM B.
That peace and quiet was sometimes very needed.
"That my infant and I would need peace and quiet (and no bustling mother-in-law!) to get off to a good start." – Sarah M.
About the deep connection.
"I wish I knew how my entire life would revolve around it, 24/7, home or away. How much I’d cherish the connection it gave me to my daughter and how I’m afraid how sad I’ll be when it ends. How I sometimes feel like I suck at everything else in life or as a mom, but it’s the one thing I know I’ve done right." – Amy P.
About tongue tie.
"I wish I knew that tongue ties are often missed by doctors and lactation consultants. My daughter’s tie was minor enough to be missed by specialists, but bad enough to make it impossible for her to breastfeed. I thought I was doing everything wrong, and found out when she was 9 that she had a tongue tie!." – Amy S.
That things get easier.
"I wish I'd known that at 8 weeks their mouths magically get bigger and it becomes about a million times easier. It would have been encouraging." – Kim S.
About nipple shields.
"I wish I knew that nipple shields where a thing. My daughter had trouble latching for her first few days and didn't seem to be getting much. Once we used the shield it was smooth sailing." – Stefanie S.
That there are so many misconceptions.
"I think there is a misconception that breastfeeding should come naturally and be easy. It may be for some, but struggling in the beginning is so common. I think this misconception leads to three things: 1. Unnecessary shame and feelings of incompetence if it is difficult (thoughts of 'I’m a failure because of this'). 2. Giving up on breastfeeding earlier than one may have wanted to, because the mother was unprepared for how challenging it could be, and 3. not having the ability to be proactive and have resources and help either from the beginning or very soon after.
Once it reaches a certain level of discomfort (or intense pain) and frustration, many women are past seeking help or the resolve to keep trying (and understandably so, in my opinion). Another thing I wish I knew is that, however difficult it might be in the beginning, it can be so wonderful after that initial challenging period. The first four months of breastfeeding were pretty challenging for me for a number of reasons. After four months, my breasts and baby hit our groove and it has been the sweetest part of every day for us since then." – Christina B.