Imagine it: you're talking to your neighbor, having a perfectly normal conversation, when all of a sudden, your kid blurts out something totally embarrassing about your personal life. And it's not just a little secret, like you enjoy a glass of wine at night or spend too much time in the bathroom, What if your little guy reveals that he caught you and your partner doing the dirty? That's right, for one mom on Mumsnet, she described how completely mortifying it was to hear her son recap the "strange noises" coming from mommy and daddy's bedroom. Now the anonymous mom doesn't know how to talk to her child about the incident — or get him to stop telling people about it.
The mom wrote in that much to her horror, her 7-year-old just happened to walk in on Mom and Dad while they were doing the dirty.
The thread has since been deleted, but according to Kidspot, the mom explained that she and her husband decided to do the deed because they thought the coast was clear. "We were a bit drunk, had just sent the babysitter home," she wrote. "I checked on him in his room and he was sound asleep closed door."
But unfortunately, she had to learn the hard way that you never can really trust that your kid is going to sleep through the night.
"DH [darling husband] saw him straight away, was right at the point of delivery, DS [darling son] must have seen a couple of seconds worth though," she wrote.
It gets even worse. Instead of asking mom and dad what exactly it was that he saw, her son decided to bring the subject up in front of their neighbor.
"This morning, he saw the neighbor and told her all about it, including a rendition of the funny noises mommy was making which apparently were so loud they woke him up," she recalled.
The mom said that she was fine with people knowing that she and her husband have sex, "hardly news of course," she wrote.
But what really got her was the "mommy's moaning voices to the elderly neighbor that made my cheeks burn."
Luckily the neighbor took the story in good humor. "She did laugh though, and asked DS if he wanted a baby brother or sister, which didn't exactly help," she said.
"How can I stop him telling everyone?" she asked.
Luckily for the mom, she wasn't the only one with an embarrassing sex story. Other parents joined right in with their own embarrassing tales.
"Our dd [darling daughter] snuck in once and hid under the bed," wrote one parent. "Neither of us noticed until she started giggling. Fortunately, we were well covered by the duvet. I can laugh about it now…"
And another mom shared that a similar thing had happened to her friend. "My friend and her husband only realized her four-year-old had come into the room mid-shag when he suddenly yelled, 'faster Daddy, faster!'"
And a third person shared that their cheeks turned red when her little brother overheard her mom give her "the talk" using the words "bulbs" and "seeds" as an analogy. "He piped up at the Sainsbury's checkout: 'has that bulb dropped out of your front bottom yet, mommy?'"
But one parent gave the mom some honest and uncomfortable advice: She's going to have to talk to her son about sex.
"Considering that some girls are starting periods at 8, I think a sex talk should be happening fairly soon OP! " wrote the mom. And in this case she might be right.
At least if the mom explained a little bit about the birds and the bees, she could let her son know that it isn't really something you share with people outside your home … or you know, your elderly neighbors.
