Every marriage has obstacles, but what if a problem felt so big that you weren't sure your relationship would survive? That's the way one man feels now that his wife has refused to ever try to have kids again after a heartbreaking miscarriage. That is why the husband feels extremely torn and is thinking about leaving if this means he's never going to get to be a father.
Despite being together for eight years, the man explained that his marriage has suffered because of his wife's miscarriage.
A miscarriage can be painful for both bodies and minds, which is why the anonymous husband tried to give his wife some time to grieve. But only two months after her miscarriage, the Reddit user wrote that his wife said she was never going to try to get pregnant again and still hasn't changed her mind about it years later.
"It's been almost two-and-a-half years since the miscarriage and she still maintains that she doesn't want kids," he wrote. "I have suggested surrogacy and adoption, thinking she is just afraid of having another miscarriage as she said that's the worst pain she's ever gone through."
But the husband desperately wants children and confessed that if they can't come to some sort of compromise, he thinks it might be time to leave.
"I still deeply love my wife, but I have always wanted to be a dad. Would I be the asshole for splitting with my wife after she changed her mind about having kids?" he asked.
Some people empathized with the husband, telling him that he's not completely wrong for feeling torn.
One person commented that both he and his wife were "perfectly valid" for feeling differently about having kids.
And another person agreed that the couple is not on the same page and there is no shame in admitting it.
Others agreed that if fatherhood is really important to the man, then unfortunately there might not be another solution.
But not everyone sided with him. Some people thought the husband was being insensitive and rash.
Many people urged him to try counseling with his wife before throwing in the towel.
If they have a good marriage otherwise, it might be worth it to try and save what they have together.
Someone else commented that it's not up to him to decide how long his wife should get to grieve.
And another person also wrote that maybe the husband needed to be more aware of how seriously a miscarriage can affect a person.
In the end, the husband explained that he was just using the forum as a way to think through his options.
He added that he thinks he'll suggest that they go to therapy both as a couple and that his wife also go alone, so that they can work through this problem. Here's hoping that they find an answer that will make both of them happy.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
