Although it's nice when your family is enthusiastic about your or your partner's pregnancy, you certainly don't want them to sharing too many details online without your permission. The only thing worse would be if they started posting the wrong information on social media. Or at least that's the opinion of one dad-to-be, who is confused as to why his sister is posting lies about his wife's pregnancy on Facebook and he doesn't know how to get her to stop.
As the dad explained, his older sister has been posting frequent updates about his wife's pregnancy. And not one of them is even close to the truth.
As he explained in a letter to Slate's Dear Prudence advice column, he and his older sister aren't close. So imagine his surprise when he started seeing her share intimate details about his wife's pregnancy — that are completely made up.
"My sister usually writes long Facebook posts about her life, but these are baffling," he wrote. "One post said how glad she was that we decided not to have an abortion and carry through with the pregnancy. (Our baby was planned.) Another talked about how excited she was to travel overseas with our baby since we can’t afford to. (We can.)"
He added that he's already privately asked her to stop posting the messages, but instead she went ahead and posted that they had asked her to be the baby's godmother.
Now his sister is looking forward to being there for the birth of his baby, and even booked a hotel nearby, but she isn't getting it. "We obviously do not want her around," he wrote.
"How do I talk to her about this in a way that won’t result in another lie-filled Facebook post?" he asked.
According to the advice columnist, these parents need to alert the hospital about his sister, ASAP.
Although it's hard to speculate what's going on with his sister, columnist Daniel Mallory Ortberg warned that this might be a sign that something is wrong.
"If your sister isn’t otherwise prone to lying or exaggerating, I might be concerned that she’s experiencing a break with reality and possibly suffering from delusions," Ortberg wrote. And although the Original Poster should try to encourage his sister to get help if this is the case, he should also take no risks when it comes to his wife's delivery.
"I think you should be careful about what information you do give her and make sure that the hospital staff know she does not have your permission to see your baby," Ortberg continued. "That doesn’t mean she poses an immediate danger, but I think it’s time to (calmly and kindly) raise your concerns with friends and family and ask for their support in helping you maintain your distance from her and encouraging her to seek help."
Online, some people agreed that the letter writer's sister sounded like she could be potentially dangerous.
One person thought that the aunt-to-be seemed as if she had a scheme going on. "The part about the abortion made me think she is constructing an argument for why [Letter Writer] and his wife didn't really want the baby, and that being unable to travel means they really aren't in the best position to give the baby a good life. Unsettling doesn't begin to cover it," the person wrote.
"Take screenshots of her posts, unfriend her, set boundaries, then inform friends/family and the hospital staff," advised someone else. "I have one thing to add: amend your will as soon as possible. If anything were to happen to you and your wife (I don't mean your sister gleefully stabbing you Hitchcock-style while you shower, but car crashes, etc), you must specify who will become your child's guardian. Make sure you spell out that your sister is not to be considered and that their guardian must never leave the child alone with her."
"This sister situation definitely has the potential to get ugly!" a third person chimed in. "Yes, absolutely take the precautions listed by Daniel and the previous commenters, but I'd do one thing differently. I'd set up Facebook so it's not showing her your posts, but I'd continue to monitor hers. I think staying current on her state of mind and specific thoughts regarding your child is valuable, and you may want to screen-shot future posts as evidence. Good luck and stay safe!"
But one person thought there might be a good explanation for his sister's behavior:
"The sister is fifteen years older than the LW. I'm going to say this puts her in the 45-50 range. Is it possible that she's not serious about these comments on FB but is trying to fit in with most of the other women she knows in her age group who are talking constantly about their children and/or grandchildren?" one person proposed.
"I'm not saying that it's okay, but perhaps it's not fiendish intent or a true desire to kidnap your kid but rather a desire to use this new nephew/niece as an opportunity to get in on the baby talk."
