Most people will admit that they love a good rainstorm every now and then. The rhythmic pitter-patter of the rain on the roof, the calming sound of the trees swaying in the wind, the occasional crack of thunder that spooks you. Meghan Maza Oeser loves a good storm too. Or, at least she used to like them. The thing is, after what happened during the last storm that hit her town, I'm not so sure she'll ever quite enjoy one the same way. She recently shared her cringe-worthy tale on Facebook, where it's quickly going viral — and once you hear it, you'll immediately understand why.
It happened one night last month, and Oeser has been so mortified by it all, it took her a solid 3-1/2 weeks just to share the tale.
On September 13, sometime around 2 a.m., the mom woke to the sound of a storm swirling outside her home.
"Y'all, I LOVE a good thunderstorm," she opened her post. "I lie in bed while I listen to the sweet, sweet thundery tap of drip drips against my window. I think to myself … 'Damn, I love a good storm!' I don't think about much."
But by the morning, her son Quinn was shaking her awake, alerting her to the fact that something was wrong.
"MOM!!!" he cried. "The basement is … like … leaking!"
"'Christ Quinn … what does that even mean?'" she asked, confused and still half-asleep. "'Did you pee? Did you pee the basement?'"
But nope -- as it turned out, the basement had flooded overnight, and Oeser's husband was at work. In other words: She had to fend for herself.
"Things got hectic after this," she wrote. "It's now 7:30 something, my basement is flooding, and my children have to catch the bus in a little over 30 minutes."
She fired off a frantic text to her husband Kevin, but all she could really eke out was a desperate two-word missive: "Basement … " it read " … wet."
Before she knew it, her husband was directing her to a bunch of electrical wires in the basement, which had her frustration mounting.
"At this moment I feel he's testing my will to live," she quipped. "I'm a housewife … not Bob Villa."
Try as she might to keep her cool, she was getting more and more frustrated by the minute.
"He has me plug other crap into the sump pump outlet to figure out if it's the pump or the receptacle," she continued. "I'm starting to question my job title as an electrician at this point, given I'm fluently using words like 'receptacle.' No worries though … after 15 minutes of failed 'electrical' attempts, I once again realize that I am, INDEED … still just a housewife. I'm not good at things."
Realizing that she now has 20 minutes to get her kids to school, she somehow "pulls two lunches out of my [expletive]" and loads them into the car.
And no, these were not Pinterest mom-level lunches. In fact, they barely passed as edible lunches.
"Pretty sure I filled up two used water bottles, tossed some Captain Crunch, a Starburst, and a three-week-old nurse's used ice pack into their lunch bags," she wrote. "Obviously killing this Mom game."
(OBVIOUSLY.)
The next thing she knew, she was booking it to the kids' school, and making it to school drop-off JUST in time.
"I'm a tuck and roll kinda mom," Oeser said of her school drop-off style. "I can't get them out of that car fast enough."
But that's when she hears one of her kids whine from outside the car "Mom … my hair."
"SON. OF. A … " Oeser said to herself, before hopping out of the car.
"Not curbside though," she explained. "I'm now 100 percent blocking passerby-ers as my pajama'ed a– gets out of the car to pull a quick VSCO bun."
But as she stood there beside her car, in full view of the other parents, Oeser heard another little question come from one of her kids.
"Mom … Why are you wearing Dad's underwears?" the kid asked. "MOM!!! Get back in the car!"
It was at this point that Oeser looked down, mortified, and saw that she was indeed wearing her husband's underwear.
It seems she'd forgotten that she'd slept in them and had been thinking she was wearing shorts.
"Y'all … I'd be a Monkey's Uncle if I wasn't just standing there fixin' a messy bun in a pair of Hanes boxer briefs and a sweet 3 sizes too small Xhiliration tank," she wrote.
And these weren't just boxers that could be passed off as shorts, either. Nope — they were boxer briefs. Or as Oeser described them, a "certain special typa' underwears that have a LITERAL house for the penis and balls."
"A HOUSE!!!" she continued. "I now have a penis."
Making matters worse, of course, is that in the initial frantic quest to find those electrical wires, she'd fallen backward and landed on her butt in a puddle of water. So not only was she wearing her husband's underwear — she was wearing her husband's underwear with a big 'ole wet butt stain on the back.
But the embarrassment didn't end there ... oh no.
It continued when she got home and let in the plumber — before remembering to CHANGE OUT OF HER PENIS PANTS.
It continued just moments later, when the plumber left and she thought she had a few minutes alone to "drop the kids off at the pool."
"Steve forgot something," she wrote. "Steve done come BACK into the house while I'm laying down a quick Colombian hot sloppy."
An awkward exchange ensued, as the plumber apologized and Oeser nearly died of mortification, but alas, the day was not over.
"I get out of the bathroom, and let him back in," she wrote. "Not only did he get to witness this the first time around, but now he gets to walk RIGHT through my steamy fresh poo cloud."
Oof. This day was really the pits.
"Enter me into the witness protection program," Oeser concluded her story. "I no longer want to be me."
But for all her mortification, people across Facebook were LOSING IT over the hilariously cringey chain of events.
"OMG I have tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard!" one woman wrote. "I really needed this today."
"I’m screaming," wrote another.
Thousands of others tagged their mom friends and chimed in with comments like, "See, we aren’t the only dysfunctional ones."
They certainly aren't. If anything, Oeser's embarrassing story unites us all in our own awkward and occasionally scatterbrained weirdness. Although not all of us can say we drove to our kid's school in our husband's underwear or took a poo in front of our plumber, we've all been there in some way or another. And laughing about it at the end of the day sure helps soothe the mortification.
