If someone told you a few weeks ago that the entire internet would soon be alight with talk about hymens, you might not have believed them. But that was before a certain rapper (*ahem* T.I.) appeared on a podcast and revealed he attends annual gyno visits with his teen daughter to ensure her hymen is still "intact." The statements stunned and repulsed nearly everyone who heard them, which has sparked a lot of conversation as a result. Among them is Dr. Verena Brown, of Atlanta, Georgia, who took to Facebook last week to sound off. Her post, which now has over 50K shares, wound up being one of the best responses to the controversy yet. Not just because it accurately refutes T.I.'s statements, but also because it shines a light on the larger, pervasive social issues that allowed him to ever think his actions were "normal" in the first place.
In her November 11 Facebook post, Brown explained that she's been working for the last decade as a child abuse pediatrician.
As part of her work, she has taken care of hundreds of girls who have been the victims of sexual assault.
"Those of us in this line of work know a lot about hymens, the female anatomy, and so-called virginity," she explains, which is why she feels she has a thing or two to say on the matter. In fact, her entire post is like the anatomy lesson we all should have gotten in seventh-grade health class, but most likely never did.
"Virginity is NOT a physical entity," says Brown. "It is a social construct, a tool by which women have been kept powerless and shamed for centuries."
And if you think you can challenge her on that fact, you might want to think again.
“'But what about the hymen?' you ask. Doesn’t it 'pop' or 'break open' when a woman has sex for the first time?" she writes.
The answer to that one is simple: Nope.
"The hymen is simply a thin bit of tissue, a vestigial remnant that sits at the entrance of the vagina," she continues. "It is absolutely useless … "
In other words: The very thing that T.I. is so obsessively monitoring his daughter for — in order to prove that she is kept a virgin — doesn't even serve a real purpose.
Contrary to popular belief, Brown writes, the hymen doesn't protect girls from infection, and is not solely broken during sex.
"Hymens look like hair scrunchies, and much like hair scrunchies, they are stretchy," she explains. "They stretch to fit a penis and other objects. They really stretch to fit a baby."
And believe it or not, hymens are actually always open. Yep — they're not the Teflon-strong barriers you probably thought they were. They actually have small holes in them, beginning with infancy, Brown explains. In fact, only in extremely rare cases are girls born without openings.
When you really think about it, it makes perfect sense.
"If hymens weren’t open, girls would not be able to have periods," Brown writes.
And then there's this:
"If injury does occur to the genitalia from sexual activity (or otherwise), it does not mean that anything got 'broken open,'" she continues. "The vulva has many parts to it that can be injured … not just the hymen. Also, the vulvar tissue is the same as what is inside your mouth. If you bite the inside of your mouth, it may swell or even bleed. But a couple of days later, it will be completely healed. A woman’s vulva, and hymen, does the same."
Wow.
All of these facts bring Brown to her main purpose in writing the post, which is to "bust" the myths surrounding female hymens and virginity.
"First of all, it’s not accurate, and women need to know the truth about our bodies," she explains.
But there's also something more pressing, and far more layered, about her urgent PSA: "Women around the world are still subjected to virginity testing and other intrusive and dangerous practices to prove, ensure, or 'reinstate' the mythical virginity," she continues.
The result has led to an undeniable oppression of women for centuries, and it continues today in big ways and in small.
But perhaps the most moving part of Brown's diatribe comes at the end, when she shares an anecdote about a 13-year-old girl who she once examined after years of abuse.
"Her uncle started raping her when she was 7 years old," Brown explained. "I tell her that she looks healthy, and that she is going to be okay. She asks me, 'Am I still a virgin?'”
That visceral concern — and genuine fear of guilt from someone who was victimized — has clearly stayed with Brown.
Looking the girl in the eye, and with every ounce of assurance she could muster, Brown told the girl that yes, she was still a virgin.
"She looks just like any other girl her age," Brown told her. That's because "in 95 percent of cases, the hymen heals completely after an assault."
That concept may be hard to initially wrap your head around, but it all ties back to her central message: Virginity is not a physical state — and therefore, it's not something that can ever be taken from you.
"It’s a concept, a mental and emotional decision you make to give of yourself when you are ready, and not when someone decides to be violent with your body," Brown continues. "And because being raped is not the same thing as having sex. Having sex WITH someone can only happen with consent. Otherwise, it’s just violence from one person to another, period."
Brown's hope in writing the post is to "stop the shame and humiliation" and to declare, once and for all, that "enough is enough."
And by the looks of the comment thread, women everywhere are giving her a much-deserved slow clap.
"THANK YOU FOR THIS," wrote one woman.
"Thank you, there is too much wrong information given to the public," another person added.
Meanwhile, hundreds of other women tagged their girlfriends in the post, alerting them to the important information. Others declared it a "must-read" — not just for girls, but for men and boys, too.
Speaking with CafeMom, Brown admits she's shocked by how viral her post has gone.
"This nerdy introvert never expected this!" she jokes. But the connection it's created with strangers all over the world has been nothing short of incredible.
"I’ve been getting really touching messages with disclosures about abuse and how the post was helpful," she shares. "They have been very moving, and I’ve appreciated every single one."
At the end of the day, she hopes readers ultimately hear the message she's trying to convey — especially women and girls who may be suffering the effects of assault.
"Please don’t ever feel shame about your body," she urges them. "Please don’t ever feel less than, because someone perpetrated a violent act against you."
Just one look at the comments rolling in on her post, and it seems safe to say that message is being heard loud and clear.
