Having a child with a mental illness is a struggle for the entire family. As a parent, you have an obligation to your child to get them the best possible care. But what if that means you have to step aside as a mom?
One mom on TikTok is sharing the reasons she made the hard decision to have her 11-year-old daughter live with another family member. Due to the girl’s combination of mental illnesses, she couldn’t live in the home with her family. While it was a difficult decision, it was the best thing for everyone’s safety.
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The mom was honest about why she did what she did.
TikTok mom Megan, made a video about what it is like having a child with “severe” mental illness. “Parents are often criticized and misunderstood when it comes to having a child with severe mental health issues,” she states.
“I have an 11-year-old daughter who is no longer safe to be around my other children nor to be in my home,” she revealed.
Her daughter's relocation was a matter of safety.
The mom makes it clear that “lack of love” did not inform her decision. “I love her deeply and so badly wish she could be at my house, but it’s not safe for my other children,” she reiterated. “So I had to make the hard decision and send her to live with her grandmother where she is an only child.”
Megan explained that she lives in Oklahoma, where resources for a child like hers aren’t easy to come by. So far, the family has yet to find anything that “works” for her daughter and their family.
The tween has a series of diagnoses that make getting help harder.
In another video, the mom shared the list of diagnoses her daughter has received over the years. They include disruptive dysregulation mood disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, reactive attachment disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and impulse control disorder. She made it clear that her daughter is not autistic, as many commenters suggested that she might be.
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Megan gave more details about what led to her having to remove her daughter from her home.
Megan made another video to share what exactly happened with her daughter, and it is clear that she didn’t have many options. When her daughter was 9 years old, child protective services was called because she threw a candle at her little brother’s head, requiring the boy to get stitches.
“DHS, Department of Human Services, said that she is a danger to my other children and if I don’t place her with someone else safe, that it would be a failure to protect my other children on my end,” she explained. “And in this situation, I have four other kids to protect.”
The mom did acknowledge that her choice of words might not have made their situation clear.
In multiple videos, she walked back on the phrase “kicked out,” realizing that it didn’t accurately portray what was really happening. Responding to many people’s claims of her competency as a parent, she was honest.
“Maybe I wasn’t the mom that my child needed. But I’m still here and I’m still trying,” she said. “I literally call her every single day. I see her very frequently.” She also added that she is sharing their story in hopes that someone may have resources to help her and her daughter.
