Kids sure say the darndest things … and you only need to spend five minutes alone with a toddler to see it in full effect. For most parents, their child's daily musings can provide endless amusement but also endless embarrassment. Such was the case for Eliza Morrill, who recently stopped at Target with her two small children and discovered that — surprise! — she'd gotten her period. But it wasn't just the sudden arrival of Aunt Flo that made her trip to Target a memorable one. It was also the unprovoked and LOUD narration of it that her children provided while accompanying her to the bathroom that left Morrill in a state of mortification.
"Well, any shred of dignity I had has been left in the Target bathroom," Morrill wrote in a Facebook post on Tuesday.
Morrill, who is one half of the hilarious duo behind the blog Momstrosity (the other being Stephanie Hollifield), shared that she made her first "mistake" when she decided to take her 4-year-old twin boys to Target.
While shopping, the mom suddenly needed to pee, and she shuffled her kids off to the nearest bathroom. But with the handicapped stall out of order, it was suddenly Morrill and her two 4-year-olds crammed into a tiny bathroom stall. That's wen she looked down to see that, yep — she had gotten her period.
"I try to distract my young cherubs so that they may not be so interested in what’s happening inside the toilet bowl," she wrote in her now-viral post.
But that's when the following convo began to take place: "Child 1: MAMA!!!!! You have … BLEED ON YOU!!" Morrill recalled. "Child 2, horrified: BLEED IS COMIN’ OUT OF YOUR BOOTY!!!!!!!!!"
Oof. Talk about embarrassing.
Morrill said that she begged her boys to be quiet, and silently prayed that they were alone in the bathroom. But alas, they were not — in fact, she described a "muffled guffaw" coming from the next stall over, which confirmed it.
"Mom. Are you okay?!?" Child 2 continued. "This is so bad. This is so so bad. You need a Bandaid!"
"NO!" Child 2 shot back. "We need to call the 911!!"
(DYING.)
Mortified, Morrill recalled "checking my purse for the tampon that I know is not there, while also trying to cover their mouths."
She also tried to take a moment to quickly normalize periods for her two boys, by telling them, "Mommy is totally fine. This is very normal for mommies and women. It looks scary but it is okay."
However, for two 4-year-olds, who have definitely never seen a woman bleeding from their vagina, it was NOT OK.
"It is not fine!!!" Child 1 yelled, while Child 2 added, "It’s okay to cry, Mom."
Honestly, that is straight-up adorable.
"Do you have a cut??? On your booty??" Child 2 continued to ask her, just as she heard several people walk in.
"On your bee-jina!?" Child 1 clarified.
All the while, Morrill was turning beet read with embarrassment and looking for "an escape plan."
But it was at that moment that all hell broke loose.
"I look down to find Child 2, sticking his head out of the stall to tell another bathroom patron that his mom is, 'bleedin’ really bad outta her booty,'" the mom shared.
"In this moment," she wrote, "I want to die."
(Honestly, can you blame her?!)
Soon, Morrill was done, and she scooted her kids out of the stall and prayed that the embarrassing ordeal was over. Of course, it was just in time to see what she called a "precious, older woman" standing at the sink with "tears of laughter streaming down her face."
"As you may have guessed, I did not make it home with laundry detergent and baby socks today," she concluded. "And also not my dignity."
On Facebook, hundreds of moms reacted to the hilarious story with cry-laugh emojis -- not to mention a few mortifying tales of their own.
"My face hurts from laughing so hard," wrote one mom. "This now ties for first in my favorite bee-jina stories. The other is our niece yelling at her mom — 'your vagina is BEAUTIFUL!' loudly in a public restroom."
"I had three 2-year-olds in the stall with me when I realized I had started [my period]," shared another. "I pulled out a tampon, which elicited excited screams of 'Popsicle! Popsicle! Popsicle!' Shortly followed by 'Oh no! Mommy put the popsicle in her butt!' And then tears and loud wails … times 3."
But at least one mom had some practical advice for Morrill — based on her own past experiences.
"Every woman has had an 'accident' at some point," the woman shared. "Now — get a baggie and put a pair of panties, and two tampons in it and put it in your purse for just this emergency. And put a pad in there too, you might be able to help save some other lady in need."
Wise words!
