Body issues in children sadly oftentimes stem from their parents. In many cases, it can be casual observations children make of their parent's relationship with their own body and food. Other times, however, it's more aggressive than that. It feels especially heinous when it is a reaction to a direct comment a parent made.
One dad discovered that his wife did this to their young daughter, and frankly, he's seeing red.
" I’ll preface this by saying she is slightly chubby, however I feel as though this is par for the course for her age," he began.
After noticing some odd behavior around food by his daughter, the dad said he spoke up when he saw her fidgeting with her clothes.
"Recently, as I’ve been around her more, I’ve noticed her mannerisms," the dad wrote. "She always pulls at her shirt, hunched over, etc. So today, I asked her if anything was wrong, and she told me that she was fat. I asked her why she thought that, and she flat-out said 'mommy told me.'"
"I was livid," he confessed. "I went straight to my wife and asked her if it was true."
Unfortunately, she unabashedly said "Yes."
"I, calmly, asked her why she would say such a thing to an 8-year-old," he followed up. "She told me what she’d said before, about how she was fat as a child and her mother lied about it. She said her mother would scream and punish her if she so much as mentioned she wanted to lose weight, and how she had to find out from nasty comments by other kids at school that she was fat. She finished with 'I’ll be d—ed if I ever let that happen to our daughter."'
The dad let his wife know, in rather colorful language, that she did a good job of messing up their daughter for the rest of her life.
Evidently, the mom responded with “oh trust me, it would’ve been worse if she had to find out from other kids.”
After fighting over it for a while, he realized that she truly believed she was justified in body shaming and putting their daughter on a diet.
"She’s had many issues in the past," he conceded. "Her mother was definitely abusive, she was anorexic for almost 10 years, etc. So I feel like she should know way better than this. I am still extremely mad about this."
People were shocked and appalled on behalf of the dad.
"That is scarring and can lead to eating disorders," validated one user. "Trust me, I know. Putting her on a diet is not the answer, just teach her about healthy foods, portions, and exercise and do it TOGETHER. Telling her she is fat is appalling. I would be LIVID and I know first hand the effect that has on self esteem, confidence, social skills, and body image. Seek counseling for her (maybe even family counseling). And hug your little girl and tell her she is beautiful please…"
Many also suggested that the wife get into some counseling as well.
"Your wife clearly has unresolved childhood trauma that she needs to work on with a therapist, advised another user. "This in no way makes it ok for her to target your daughter like this. If she is concerned about her health, then speak to a pediatrician or nutritionist. Ask the daughter if there is some type of sport she would be interested in trying. Your wife is not doing your daughter any favors, even if she thinks she means well. Your daughter should likely see a therapist too since this has already started to alter her behavior and mental health."
For everyone's sake, we hope they do all seek help, because no one (mother or child) deserves to feel bad about their body.
