One woman on Reddit is beyond annoyed at her husband because of some off-comments he's made about their 1-year-old son. According to her husband, their son is "gay" for liking seemingly innocuous things, such as rainbows, bananas, and books, and she's worried that his comments are homophobic.
"I am tired of it, find it very strange, and even though I've tried several times, he doesn't seem to understand he's being ridiculous," she wrote.
Her husband has been saying that their infant is gay for months now.
He's given his wife many pieces of "evidence" for his suspicions, including loving when outdoor light makes rainbows on the floor; being curious about make-up: "It reminds him of crayons," the mom explained on r/relationship_advice</a>; eating a banana ("One time my husband saw him mouth the tip of it" and "got angry at me for 'letting him do something that looks sexual"); liking blooming flowers; and their son "likes books too much for a boy."
And then, there was this gem.
"There's also a character in one of the books that my son always points and smiles at, because he has bright orange hair (son's favorite color), but my husband thinks he has a crush on the character … I don't even know what to say to that," she wrote.
Every time her husband presents his case, the original poster (OP) shuts him down. "My patience is wearing thin."
She's told him that none of those things have "anything to do with being gay or straight, boy or girl," she wrote. "I can't believe I'm having to have the conversation in the first place."
She's also tried telling him that it's pretty much impossible for their son to be sharing his sexual orientation yet -- he barely knows how to walk or talk.
She also told him that there aren't definite "signs" that their son is gay. "You never can be certain what a kid will grow up to be," she noted.
But the problem is larger than a few weird remarks made when their son is young -- what if their son IS gay?
The OP hoped that her husband would love and accept him no matter what, but his behavior has given her some doubts.
She even asked her husband if he would be OK if their son WAS gay and he told her "'of course' like I'm crazy to question," and that he's "just joking," she continued. "But his comments come off like he's critical."
Her husband seems to be reading into her son's innocent behavior.
"I almost wonder if he's worried HE himself is gay, or something, I don't know… I'd never bring that up because I'm sure he'd get furious," she shared.
It's embarrassing when he tries to joke about their son in front of his friends.
Her husband made a "joke" about their son liking flowers to a bunch of their friends "and tried to get my dad, who we're quarantining with, to agree with him about the banana thing," she wrote. "It's really embarrassing to me."
Her husband has never shown her signs of homophobia in the past.
But we all know that things change when it's your own kids.
"We have some friends who aren't straight, and my husband treats them the same as everyone else. He's never said anything homophobic. He expresses support for LGBTQ rights and is liberal," she explained.
"The hangups about our son are at odds with all this, to me," she added.
But how can she get him to stop?
The comment section was in agreement -- her husband was being weird.
People couldn't get over the whole banana thing.
"It's kind of scary to me this man thinks a 1-year-old child is interested in doing things for sexual purposes," one commenter wrote. "I don't know what adult would see a kid put a banana in their mouth and not instantly think 'yeah, kids put everything in their mouths.'"
"Just so you know an LGBT ally can be an ally until it comes to their own kids," someone else wrote. "No, seriously, it can be completely fine in theory until it’s in their 'bloodline.'
"You need to get this behavior in check," the commenter continued, "it’s going to negatively impact your kid when he starts realizing what’s going on. This is totally no-homo to culture at its finest, with a dash of toxic masculinity."
"I'd say your husband is probably homophobic, but hides it," a third person agreed. "You said at the end you have LGBT+ friends, that doesn't matter to be honest, he can be fine with them, but when it's his family and his life it's different.
"If he didn't care and would love your son anyway, why is he so obsessed with it?" the person continued. "He is literally coming up with stuff to complain about, reads too much for a boy? For real?"
It appears the OP's husband is suffering from some heavy homophobia. If he won't take the OP's word for it, she should maybe go to a therapist and have the professional explain that not only are these thoughts strange, but they could make their son feel uncomfortable no matter how he identifies.
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