Friendships get more complicated as we get older, that's sort of a fact. As we grow, get in relationships, have children, we start to learn what our friends' true values really are and whether or not we want to continue on the same path together.
One mom took a sharp left turn after she was sick of her single mom friend constantly abandoning her kids. And even though she was just ultimately concerned for their safety, mutual friends are saying she made the "wrong call."
She begins by saying the mother in question (who is referred to as "Claire") is a single mom with two kids ages 10 and 8.
"Claire shared several stories with the group about incidents that had happened with her kids while she wasn't there," the mom explained. "Once it was that the 10 y/o talked the 8 y/o into leaving the house with him while she was working without permission. Claire got home and had no idea where the kids were. Another time was when Claire got home from work to find the kids had decided to throw a house party and had kids from all over the neighborhood at her house. She would bring her kids to the house parties where she would proceed to pass out from drinking while the rest of us dealt with her children."
The final straw came for her when Claire picked her up for a weeknight hangout.
"She told me along the way we'd have to stop at her house so she could give her son his cell phone," the mom explained. "I asked if the kids would be home alone and she said yes but she wouldn't be leaving them for long as it was a school night. I went inside with her and did not see another adult present."
The mom said she left the party around 11 p.m. to go home to her own children, but evidently Claire stayed ... until the next morning.
"The next morning, I get a phone call from my friend to tell me Claire and a couple other friends were still there," the mom said. "She proceeded to tell me that Claire had gone out, done drugs, came back, drank more, stayed the night. She invited me over and I said I would stop by after I got my kids on the bus. When I got there (around 9:00 AM) Claire walked out of a bedroom drinking out of a bottle of vodka. I asked about her kids and she said, 'They should be okay – my son called me and told me they got up for school.' She was not concerned about going home and checking on them, and my friend told me later that Claire did not leave her house until 5:00 that evening."
So, the mom reported her, and did it without warning Claire first.
"As a part of the investigation they read her the report against her," the mom explained. "From the details in the report Claire was able to conclude that someone in our group had been the one to report her and confronted the group. Not wanting anyone else to get grief for it, I 'fessed up and said it was me. This caused a huge rift in the friend group and resulted in me losing people who were friends of mine because they thought what I did was out of line and that I should have told her first. My argument is that I never give a heads-up to potentially neglectful/abusive parents because then they have time to cover it up and the main concern for me is the safety of the children no matter what."
So the mom wants to know, is she wrong for not talking to Claire first?
There was nearly a unanimous agreement: The mom who reported did nothing wrong.
"My mother used to do this with me all the time," one user shared. "I was 10 and my siblings were newborns. As I got older, I always resented her friends who knew she was robbing me of my childhood so she could party…You did what I always wished someone would have done for me."
Others also suggested that she get a new group to hang out with.
"Those 'friends' you lost will turn out to be a good thing for you. Who the hell gets mad because you reported child neglect and they know it's true? Honestly I think you should just give up the whole friends group altogether."
All in all her instincts were right, and all we can do is hope those kids are getting cared for.
