Picking out a baby name is not something parents should take lightly. But what if your well-meaning family member doesn't see that the baby name they love — sort of misses the mark? Should you warn your relative? One woman was torn by this exact scenario, but ultimately she decided to fill her cousin in that her baby name was less than ideal: "Molester."
The woman explained that her older cousin has always come off as "holier than thou."
We all have that one "perfect" family member. Well in the Original Poster's (OP) case that's her cousin, who's married, successful, and was the first to settle down, she explained in a post on Am I the A–hole.
And now she's pregnant.
Recently, her cousin announced her chosen baby name.
Both of the names she likes are family names "and the middle actually is after our grandfather," the OP wrote. "The name would be perfectly fine if it wasn't for the surname."
The name is Matthew Owen Leicester — the parents have been calling him Mo.
"Her husband commented 'can't wait for our little Mo to come!' He likes the initials MO as he is an avid runner and admires Mo Farah," she added.
Right away, the OP saw that the name had a double meaning.
The dots weren't too hard to connect: Mo Leicester, MoLeicester, molester … so the OP wanted to warn her cousin before it was too late. She sent her a text that read: "Are you sure about the baby name, just say Mo Leicester out loud," the OP recalled.
"She replied, 'yeah it's a lovely name, anyways we're just calling him Mo, he'll be called by his first name at school."
Her cousin's mind seemed settled, so the OP let it drop.
But she found it hard to hold her tongue when her cousin later shared a photo of a onesie with Mo Leicester "emblazoned across it" on social media.
"I then texted her, 'your kid is really gonna get bullied when his classmates can put two and two together,'" she wrote.
Her cousin got upset and accused the OP of not being supportive.
Then the expecting cousin went running to her mom and sister, which opened up a whole new can of worms. The two "bombarded" the OP with calls telling her to quit being mean "to a pregnant lady."
"I just said that the name is ridiculous and how could they not notice," she recalled. "They said only the parents can choose the name, and I should mind my own business." They also told the OP that they were "family names" and "we should be thankful that the family is being 'honored.'"
Her aunt made a real low blow and accused the OP of being jealous because she's single.
She also rubbed it in her face that her cousin "had her husband at my age."
"I really don't care about being single by the way," the OP wrote.
There are a few people on the OP's side — her sister and her cousin's brother also think the name is ridiculous, and he went as far as to tell her cousin's husband so, "but he thinks the name Mo is 'cool' as every boy should have a sports hero to look up to."
"So yeah my nephew is literally called molester and i'm not happy about it because he didn't asked to be lumped with a crappy name," she added. "Am I the a–hole?"
People in the comments agreed that this name was a bad idea.
"Not The A–hole oh lord poor kid," one commenter wrote. "If they wanna call their kid 'Mo' when their surname is Leicester they shouldn't be surprised if the kid gets bullied. I get that that's not your kid, but your concern is in the best interest of the kid. Your aunt also sounds like a piece of work."
"NTA don't doom the poor kid," wrote someone else.
"Oof, that is unfortunate," a third commenter agreed. "I was all ready to say it's never good to criticize a new parent's baby name choice but in this case, NTA, that nickname last name combo is gonna be terrible."
A few people thought the OP needed to chil.
"You're The A–hole. This is such a petty thing to try to ruin their choice for them," one person wrote. "If the kid is going to go by Mike or whatever, I don't see it being an issue. Who the [expletive] knows the middle name of classmates?"
"YTA not your kid," another person agreed. "She's naming him a fine name with the exception of how his initials are pronounced with his last name. Kids are gonna be d—s no matter what his name is, that's just how kids are. Leave your cousin alone."
A third commenter had this to say:
"YTA if only for how you said it. You could have gently said something like 'hey, not to be rude, but does it kind of sound like 'molester' to you?' Anything beyond that isn't your business. Mo is not an inappropriate name, and if people like you make fun of it growing up, that's on you and them."
The OP might have to accept that she's not going to win this one.
No matter how good her intentions are.
"What I'm worried about is if a friend comes over, and his mum calls him "Mo," or they see it written down, the kid might catch on and use at school," she wrote later in the thread. "Or if the kid is used to being called Mo that he introduces himself at school as Mo (easy enough as a 4-year-old), and it's all sunshine and roses until the day the kids figure out what a molester is and he'll never hear the end of it."
If it ever comes to that, at least the OP can tell her cousin she told her so.
