With more states starting to loosen their social distancing measures, it's more important than ever to make sure that we trust the people we allowing near our kids as we start venturing out. But after being extremely protective with her newborn even before the coronavirus pandemic exploded, one woman is now furious with her mother-in-law. Despite knowing this new mom's concerns about exposing her little one to infections, her MIL revealed during a Father's Day visit that she had recently seen her sister-in-law — who had pneumonia.
The new mom had her baby in January.
As she explained on r/JUSTNOMIL, even in January, she made it clear to family members that they couldn't see her daughter if they'd been sick or been near some was recently sick.
"And if you are sick or around anyone who is sick then you have to wait two weeks to see her," she continued.
For the most part, her family was respectful — "family that had the flu and strep throat when I gave birth waited the appropriate time to see my daughter," she explained.
Then the coronavirus happened, which made her even more strict with her rules.
She admitted that her area wasn't "heavily impacted," but there were enough cases for the new mom to take social distancing seriously.
"We did 'social distancing visits' where we remained six plus feet apart and everyone wore masks," she explained.
"Recently our area started relaxing regulations, and as today was Father's Day, we went over to MIL's house to tell Father-in-law Happy Father's Day," she wrote. "This visit was planned for a week in advance."
The visit started off fine.
But an hour into their visit (after she held her daughter) her MIL revealed she'd recently seen the mom's sister-in-law, who was, you guessed it, sick with pneumonia.
"I was shocked," the mom wrote.
Her MIL insisted that things were fine.
She told the mom that her SIL was tested for the coronavirus and it came back negative, so she has nothing to be upset about.
"Okay, at least we don't have to worry about that, but a 5-month-old with pneumonia is still serious."
Again, her MIL "brushed it off" -- pneumonia wasn't contagious, she argued.
She told the mom that her daughter got pneumonia "all the time" when she was a kid because she has allergies.
"But then she said SIL hasn't gotten it since she was a kid and that she was around a cashier at a department store that was coughing a lot right before getting it," the mom added. "So my guessing is that she built up immunity to whatever was causing it when she was a child and that this was a different, and contagious strain."
The mom was irate, but waited until after they left to give her MIL a piece of her mind.
In a text, she told her that she needs to be better at "communicating if she's been around someone who is sick, and that the waiting two weeks is still my policy, because my 5-month-old hasn't received all of her vaccines yet and therefore doesn't have immunity towards any illnesses."
Unsurprisingly, her text rubbed her MIL the wrong way.
She thought the mom was accusing her of being "careless" with her daughter and that she was trying to get her daughter sick on purpose, "even when I told her that wasn't the case."
"None-the-less, she said she'd be better about communicating about these things in the future… but I'm still pissed… and worried," the mom continued. "I don't want my daughter getting pneumonia, especially with COVID still being a thing."
Now she's wondering — is she overreacting?
Some people thought she was being too nice to her MIL.
"If MIL thinks that you think she was careless, maybe you don't need to soothe her hurt feelings about that," one person wrote in. "She WAS careless, and she should feel bad about it."
"Don't water down the message! Of course you were calling her careless, because she was careless!" someone else commented. "You can reply that no, you don't think she did it on purpose to get your baby sick, but that it WAS careless."
"No, you're under-reacting if anything. She put your infant at risk!" a third commenter chimed in.
In response to some of the commenters who were concerned that her SIL's results were a false-positive, the mom shared that her SIL had a chest X-ray, which confirmed that she didn't have the coronavirus.
"Thankfully," she added. "But yeah, pneumonia is enough for a 5-month-old."
But trust her word, she will be very careful with her kids in the future.
"We are definitely quarantining to the best of our abilities for the next two weeks," she wrote. "Unfortunately my husband can't because he has to work, but I can and do stay home with my daughter all the time."
