Who is the first person you call when you get good news? That is the question that's bothering one man, who was crushed when he learned his wife told her best friend that she was pregnant — before she told him. Now he feels like her whole pregnancy is tainted, but some people on the internet thinks he needs to get a grip.
His wife and his sister have been BFFs long before the couple started dating.
But still, he's her husband and the father of her child, he wrote on the Am I The A–hole forum on Reddit.
"I had a right to find out she was pregnant before my sister, but instead of telling me first once she found out her response was to call my sister," he continued.
Now he feels like he's an "afterthought."
Worse, he feels like his wife "robbed" him of "a special moment which I will never get back" and his mood has "soured" on the whole pregnancy.
"I am finding it hard to get excited about anything because we started off on such a bad note," he admitted.
And he's refusing to go with her to their first doctor's appointment.
He reasoned that his sister could go with her if she needs company.
"My wife didn't like this, but I told her that it's her own fault for getting us started on a bad note," he explained.
"Maybe I will go to others or maybe not," he added. "I have no clue and don't feel involved in any way, so what does it even matter."
Some people thought this dad-to-be needed to get it together.
"You're The A–hole — You'll be a father soon," one commenter wrote. "It's time to grow the [expletive] up. Seriously. Sometimes I can't believe the kind of BS y'all are fighting over."
"Being a parent means letting things go," someone else chimed in. "You cannot be this petty and be a good parent."
"This is going to start your relationship with your kid off on a bad foot," a third cautioned. "Can't even show up for their first ever appointment. Some dads would love that chance but don't get to due to circumstances. I told my best friend first too because in that moment I needed support for me and to wrap my head around before telling my Significant Other and it becoming real with him. Grow the hell up and be a dad instead a of a petulant child."
But some people agreed with him, saying his wife had messed up.
"Don't blame you," one commenter wrote. "I would divorce her if that happened to me."
"Since your sister is more of a priority than you are it only makes sense that she go with her," someone else added. "Wife is a major a–hole and I feel sorry for your kid."
"This is a special moment in BOTH of your lives and she didn't respect that enough to let you be the first to know," a third person commented.
In the end, the OP decided that although he's still angry with his wife, "at this point I will probably go but mostly because in case they find out something isn't right then I want to be there for my wife."
"I don't think my reaction has been the best," he admitted. "I can see that more clearly now, but I do think my hurt is genuine and not all the product of me being childish."
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