In another example of "what not to say in the delivery room," one woman wrote in to Reddit to share that her boyfriend recently told her that she had completely embarrassed him — while she was giving birth. You know, by doing things such as screaming, looking to her midwife for comfort, and oh, several other things that most people would consider to be absolutely normal.
Although the 20-year-olds have been dating for a year, the birth of their son has brought out the ugliest parts of their relationship.
As she explained in r/relationship_advice, she had a natural delivery, and unsurprisingly — it was painful.
"I screamed A LOT and each time I did he whispered something like 'can you stop screaming, you're really embarrassing me,'" the mom wrote.
The pain was so bad she even threw up.
But when she got sick all her boyfriend did was "cover his face in shame."
"When I held the midwife's hand for comfort he whispered 'let go of her, stop being so embarrassing,'" she shared.
He even said her "birthing position" was embarrassing and "called me a few vulgar names."
She's not sure what to do.
"I'm really upset about his behavior that day, especially when it was when I needed his support the most," she continued. "When I try to talk to him about it he denies ever saying it and that I'm being silly …"
People in the comments agreed -- birth is not for wimps, which is what he seems to be.
"I literally s–t myself (a lot ) while having a contraction, then my water broke a minute after," one commenter wrote. "That is all said to assure you that your bf's behavior is NOT normal and is NOT acceptable. You're not being silly. This is a huge red flag, and a big indicator of what his future behavior will be like in stressful situations."
"Child birth isn't pretty. It's beautiful bringing life in the world, but everything else is nope. A lot of fluids and stuffs," someone else wrote.
"Seriously feel for OP, she should never have had to deal with that," another commenter posted. "There's no room for embarrassment in time because it just is what it is. It's gross, it smells, you're exposed, the last thing OP needed was someone pointing that out and shaming her."
Some people thought this was no laughing matter.
"Please end this relationship," one person wrote. "He was downright cruel to you when you were at your most vulnerable. This isn't a case of him freezing or being unsure of what to say to comfort you. This was him actively tearing you down while you needed him most."
"Abusers only show their true face once they think you are stuck with them. Too dependent to just say f– you I am leaving," someone else pointed out.
"This isn't an immaturity issue. You don't insult and degrade your partner while they give birth to your child because you're immature. You do it because you're a huge [expletive] a–hole," a third person added.
After reading the comments, the new mom decided to try counseling with her boyfriend -- but he didn't want to try it. So she's leaving.
"My mom has agreed to let me stay there until I can find a new place for myself and baby," she wrote. "I haven't said anything to him yet, I've been advised not to so I am still planning out how I am going to take the next step."
In an update to her earlier post, the new mom thanked those who had given her advice and support and mentioned that she will be going to therapy and had called few a domestic abuse hotlines for advice.
"I was also advised against couple counselling by many of you as you said it often encourages an abuser's behaviour, which made a lot of sense and I wish I read that before speaking to him," she wrote.
"My mum came round after he left and said he's an [expletive] and even though she doesn't 'agree' with single parenting, she thought anything would be better than staying with him and enabling his behaviour. He has tried to visit me and the baby since as he guessed I was at my mum's, both my mum and I have told him it's over and that we're leaving the rest down to the courts."
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