A dad-to-be had to make an incredibly hard decision. He was excited to attend his wife’s sonogram appointment, but then his beloved grandfather died. Although some people may not have seen the situation as a conflict, his wife did. She didn’t understand why he wouldn’t skip the funeral to keep his word and attend the sonogram.
He, however, felt it was more important for him to support his family and be at his grandfather’s funeral. Even though the choice felt easy to him, naturally, he felt guilty.
He brought his dilemma to Reddit.
The dad-to-be asked the Reddit AITA community to help with his situation. He explained that he and his wife are expecting a baby girl in the fall. So far, he has been fully present for the pregnancy. “I’ve been talking to her through my wife’s belly, being excited feeling kicks, all of the fun stuff,” he wrote.
He explained that they had recently scheduled the important 20-week ultrasound, but then his grandfather’s health began “slowly diminishing.” It was decided that within a week of his death, they would have a funeral.
“This made my wife and I have to talk about the plan,” he explained in his post. After he was asked to be a pallbearer, his wife decided to stay at home with their dogs and he would make the four-hour journey alone.
Then came the major conflict.
“I was told the funeral would be held at 10 am on Wednesday… this just so happens to be the exact same day that my wife has the ultrasound,” he wrote. “My wife is now upset that I plan to go to my grandfathers funeral instead of go to the ultrasound appointment.”
He suggested that he could FaceTime her during the appointment and still go to the funeral and be with his family. “It’s my grandfather,” he reminded her. While he understood that it wouldn’t be the same, he was trying to find a compromise.
“But this is your daughter,” his wife argued. He added that she is “mad and upset” at his choice.
“I’m emotionally torn from this because I’m so excited for my baby girl but also really sad about my grandfather,” he admitted. “My wife’s feelings are always going to be valid, but I feel like mine aren’t being considered in this situation.”
People automatically came to his defense, validating his feelings.
Commenters immediately told the dad-to-be that he shouldn’t feel bad for wanting to attend his grandfather’s funeral.
“I don’t understand why the answer isn’t automatically to reschedule the appointment? There’s a family member’s funeral, why isn’t the wife’s automatic reaction to immediately call the doctor’s office and request it to be moved (after she’s comforted her husband, of course)?” one person wrote.
“A 20week ultrasound is important but can be rescheduled – worst case, go to a private gyno and pay for it so you can reschedule. It’s not just your grandfather, it’s your father who needs you. She should understand that,” someone else wrote.
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