A mother and right-to-die activist from England made an extremely difficult choice. When Emma Bray was diagnosed with motor neuron disease, she knew that life as she’d known it was over. In the years after her diagnosis, she slowly began losing the ability to use her body. Bray was painfully aware of how the disease affected everyone around her, especially of how it affected her children. Rather than let them watch her deteriorate more, she bravely took some power back and ended her life on her terms.
The 41-year-old Bray, who was diagnosed with the disease two years ago, chose to end her life by ceasing to eat and drink, also known as VSED. According to the nonprofit organization Compassion & Choices, VSED is “when a mentally capable individual decides to control their own dying by making a conscious decision to refuse foods and fluids of any kind.” Bray began the process when she entered hospice.
“I now feel I am at the stage where my quality of life is very affected, I can no longer use any of my limbs. My talking is severely affected, and I struggle to eat, and it’s getting harder to breathe. I am only really comfortable in bed, and social visits are exhausting,” Bray told The Mirror back in May. During the interview, she had to use an eye-gazing device to communicate.
“I can’t scratch an itch, push up my glasses, or move a bed sheet if I am too hot or cold. I feel like I am losing the essence of me. I am still so loved, but I can’t be myself, and I see that grief on everyone’s faces.”
Two of those faces belonged to Bray’s two children, ages 15 and 14. She expressed sadness that her children were watching her become a shell of herself. “Imagine seeing your children crying and upset and not be able to hug them or curl up in bed and wipe their tears away,” she said. “This is hands down the thing I hate the most about motor neurone disease. It’s taken my children’s mum from them little by little.”
Emma Bray knew that VSED, which could take 10 to 14 days, was “not an easy death.” Based on the laws in England, however, she knew it was “the only way I can have control over my death.”
“I want to protect my children from seeing me choke and struggle to breathe. I don’t want to die, but I am going to and have come to terms with my impending death,” she told the The Mirror.
Bray wrote her own eulogy in an Instagram post on July 13, 2025, showing herself in a hospice bed.
“I’ve lived a very good life, surrounded by love, music and laughter and I want this to continue in my memory,” she said. “Rather than shed a tear (or whilst you do) please plant a tree or call a friend, do a random act of kindness or take time to watch a sunset. For moments of doubt please ask ‘what would Emma do?’ and run with that probably inappropriate answer. Hug everyone a little tighter and love openly.”
She also asked that people “surround those who were closest to me with love, time and patience.”
“And to quote Frank Turner,” she wrote in conclusion, “Remember you get to dance another day but now you have to dance for one more of us.”
