It’s always good to have a birth plan. We have to be able to envision ourselves coming through the arduous, challenging task of bringing a human into the world, and a plan helps with that. While it’s good to think about how you might want your birth to go, at the end of the day, we’re not in control of that either.
Babies come into the world when they’re good and ready. Sometimes, their timing might be a little inconvenient. This was the case for a mom who ended up giving birth in her friend’s home … on her couch.
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During a girls' night, a Reddit user went into labor.
A woman wrote in to Reddit, asking how she could mend a strained relationships with her longtime friend. The OP shared that she and her group of friends — seven of them — do a girls’ night every month. Recently, the group decided to have a chill movie night at their friend Ella’s house since two of the seven women are pregnant.
“I had been having some discomfort for some days (nothing I wasn’t told was completely normal) when things suddenly got kicked up a biga– notch,” she wrote. Shortly after that, things got more intense. The OP went from slight discomfort to active labor. This expectant mother didn’t feel comfortable moving so she called emergency services.
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'My child, with impeccable timing and a flair for the dramatic, was born on [Ella’s] sofa,' the OP wrote.
When the EMTs arrived, they asked most of the women to leave. The OP was glad for the directive because she found the whole thing overwhelming. Only one person was allowed to stay and the OP chose her friend Grace, whom she’s known since they were both tiny humans.
After the rest of the group left, “With the help of the EMT my child, with impeccable timing and a flair for the dramatic, was born on [Ella’s] sofa,” the OP wrote. In the days since — like after many baby’s arrivals — things have been a whirlwind.
The only problem is that the OP has noticed that Ella has been distant. “She’s the only one who hasn’t come by,” the OP wrote. “When I apologized and thanked her, she sent me a bill for the sofa.” The OP said that she doesn’t mind paying it but the request felt “harsh.”
Since the birth, Ella has been distant to the OP.
Some of the other women believe Ella was hurt that she was sent outside of her own home and wasn’t allowed to witness the birth. “Sarah & Grace mentioned she at first didn’t want to leave (I don’t remember this) as it’s her house … apparently, Sarah’s the one who told her it’s not about her now, and got her out,” she wrote.
Ella had even asked the OP to attend the birth months before but she told her, her partner would be the only one in attendance. “I don’t really know how to fix this. I feel guilty, my wife says I shouldn’t. How do I go about all this? She barely wants to speak to me, she’s been distant towards the girls as well,” she wrote.
Reddit users believed both Ella and the OP were in the wrong.
The people of Reddit believed that both the OP and Ella were at fault for different reasons. First to the OP for not immediately offering to clean or replace Ella’s couch.
“Now that you’ve given birth you know how messy it is,” one user said. “It’s like a freaking crime scene. No one wants to sit on a couch where someone gives birth. A couch is an expensive and important piece of furniture. That your partner didn’t step in and ask to immediately pay for a replacement and offer to get cleaners for the room is baffling.”
The other issue is on Ella for attempting to make this birth about her.
“You don’t owe her a seat at your birth, and your ask was absolutely valid,” the same user wrote. “If she’s miffed about that, it’s on her, and she needs to get over it. You needn’t feel guilty about this at all.”
Reddit users suggested the OP pay for the couch and give Ella a minute to come around.
Others suggested that the OP have a little empathy for Ella considering she was asked to leave her own home.
Paraphrasing the whole thing from Ella’s perspective, one user wrote: “After the entire ordeal was over, the EMTs and all of her friends left. And she had a crime scene. She wasn’t allowed to do anything during the process to prevent the destruction of her home, and literally none of her so-called friends stuck around to help her clean up the literal biohazard…It was weeks before said friend reached out and didn’t even bother to ask about the damages or the costs of her choice to come to her home while she was experiencing symptoms of her condition. All the while, she was having to deal with the sad reality that maybe those weren’t her friends after all.”
Ultimately, many Reddit users concluded that the OP needed to pay for couch, apologize for the delay in making things right, and give Ella some time and space before she reaches out to try to mend the relationship.
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