Planning a wedding has a way of stirring up strong emotions. Especially when it comes to figuring out who to include on the guest list, feelings can get hurt. Recently, a Reddit user said she refused to invite her sister’s fiancé and his kids to her wedding — and folks online weighed in on who the jerk was in the situation.
The bride-to-be took to the AITA subreddit in mid-February 2025 to vent about the drama. In the thread, the original poster explained that in response to her not inviting her sister’s much older fiancé, whom she had only been dating for three months, the sister said she would not attend the wedding. Reddit users sent a clear message about who was at fault.
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On Reddit, the OP explained that she is planning a small wedding.
In the AITA subreddit, the OP described her current situation.
“We only invited immediate family and close friends so we can afford to pay for the wedding ourselves,” she explained. “We also said that guests can only bring a plus-one if they’ve been dating for at least a year because we can’t afford to pay for someone they barely know.”
The bride explained that her sister started dating a much older man a few months ago.
In November, the OP’s younger sister, 25, started dating a man named Jon, 43, who has two teenagers.
“Three weeks ago, they announced they were engaged,” she detailed. “I’ve tried talking to her a few times about how he’s too old for her and how she’s way too young to be a stepmom to two teens, but she told me to mind my own business and that she loves him.”
The OP refused to invite her sister’s fiancé to her wedding.
As far as wedding invitations are concerned, the OP said she only invited her sister.
“She called and asked why Jon and his kids weren’t invited. I told her it’s because I barely know them and they haven’t even been dating for a year,” the bride-to-be shared. “She said Jon is family now and that his kids will be my niece and nephews, so it’s different.”
The OP continued, “I told her I can’t afford to pay for three extra guests who are basically strangers to us. Now she’s mad and says she won’t come either.”
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Now, the bride wonders: Is she at fault?
To conclude her thread, the OP explained that her parents “get where I’m coming from, but they also want my sister at the wedding.”
The OP also noted that only 24 guests in total have been invited and she didn’t want to add “3 strangers.”
She added, “My dad even offered to cover the cost of Jon and the kids. But the thing is, I just don’t want them there. I feel uncomfortable inviting people I don’t know to my wedding. Am I being a stubborn a–hole?”
Folks in the comments agreed: The bride is NTA.
In the comments, fellow Reddit users mostly took the bride’s side.
One wrote: “Even without your ‘judgment’ about Jon, you and your fiancé set the rules for ALL the guests’ plus-ones to be dating for at least a year. So it’s not a personal attack against Jon.”
They also wondered, “Do Jon & his kids even want to come to the wedding? Or is your sister just trying to force you to accept her ‘fiancé’?”
Another Redditor shared: “NTA. Hopefully, your sister will be mortified at her own behavior in a few years if she ever grows up.”
Meanwhile, someone else declared: “3 months! No you are NTAH nor do you have to invite people your sister has known 3 months to your wedding. She’s not seeing things from your perspective and you need to ask her to put herself in your shoes!”
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