I Canceled My RSVP to a Cousin’s Wedding Because of the No-Child Policy, & Now He’s Livid

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Attending weddings as a parent can be tricky. When you have young children and there is a well-defined no-child policy, it can be inconvenient to secure child care — and sometimes, it's not worth the hassle. But when a bride and groom suddenly spring upon parents that kids are not welcome, things can get downright heated.

That's exactly what happened to a mom who posted recently on Reddit. Now, she's airing out her grievances about a last-minute no-kids clause and her cousin's reaction to changing her RSVP to "no." Folks in the comments all came to the same conclusion.

Initially, the Reddit mom planned to travel to California from abroad with her newborn for her cousin's wedding.

AITA for telling my cousin I can't come to his wedding because of no child rule
byu/Fun-Imagination4145 inAmItheAsshole

Someone posted July 27 in the Am I the A–hole forum on Reddit needing help determining if she was at fault regarding her cousin's upcoming wedding.

"My cousin is getting married at the end of August in California at a vineyard. No one in the family is in California so to go I need to get a hotel," she explained. "Me, my mom, and brother found an AirBNB that [is] relatively close. Also I should mention my husband is posted abroad and won't be coming, I was going to fly to the US for this."

She would be flying in from Germany.

The invitation was sent out three weeks ago and made no mention of being child-free.

The OP (original poster) explained that she received the wedding invitation just three weeks ago, and they "had to scramble to find a place." Additionally, she explained that her 4-month-old breastfed baby won't take a bottle.

"She had to drink from an open cup one time because I needed to take a driving exam and that is the longest she has ever been away from me," she noted.

Just recently, the cousin told her his wedding has a no-child policy.

The kicker? "They just let us know that no children under 12 are allowed," the OP shared. "So I told them that logistically I can't come."

She noted that her cousin and his bride-to-be suggested that the OP and her mother take turns at their Airbnb to watch the baby.

"I said it's just too big of a deal. To fly all the way there, pay for an AirBNB and then go back and forth during the wedding. It just doesn't seem worth it," she wrote. "Its a lot of effort to do all of that by myself with a small baby. The airbnb and plane are still refundable at this point."

Now, the cousin is livid that she backed out.

"My cousin is mad that I'm cancelling as they paid per head and can't reduce the amount at this point. I said they can try and find someone else to invite. I said it's his fault that they didn't write the child rule on the invitation," the OP explained.

"He said I should not be stingy and get a babysitter, I don't know anyone in that area of California and honestly paying for a babysitter on top of an AirBNB and flight is ridiculous to me. He says it standard to not bring children to weddings."

In an update, the OP noted that 30 people canceled their "yes" RSVP, and that's why the cousin is complaining about the cost.

Reddit users all agreed: She is not the one at fault.

In the comments, fellow Reddit users gave a unanimous answer: The OP is NTA (not the a–hole).

"Who expects the parents of a four month old to find a babysitter in a strange place at the last minute," one person commented. "Do not let your cousin bully you. Cancel everything and stay home. If your mother and brother want the Airbnb they can cover your share, or find other accommodation."

Another Reddit user declared, "NTA … by a long shot!"

Someone else pointed out, "Your cousin is trying to make his bad planning your problem." The person explained further, writing, "How ridiculous to to ask a mother to get a babysitter for a 4 month old baby who is breast fed, in a strange city where she doesn’t know anyone. Your cousin has clearly demonstrated that he is clueless."

What do you think?