I Struggled With Infertility & It Took 900 Needles To Bring My Son Into This World

Erica Carmen Kaye/Facebook

A mother of three who is also a pediatrician has created a powerful and moving picture of what it's like to experience infertility and to go through in-vitro fertilization treatments. The mother, Dr. Erica Kaye, recently shared her journey with infertility in a compelling and vulnerable personal essay.

“Infertility is humbling and painful and hopeful and scary," Erica wrote, according to Good Morning America. Her words are reminder to us all that the path to becoming a parent is not always an easy one and that there is more than one way to get there.

Even though 1 in 5 women of reproductive age are unable to get pregnant within the first year of trying and 1 in 4 women have difficulty carrying a full-term pregnancy, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, infertility is not often openly discussed. That's something this mother and advocate wants to change.

Erica shared her story to raise awareness for National Infertility Awareness Week and to advocate for other parents.

National Infertility Awareness Week, which takes place from April 23 to 29 each year, was founded in 1989 by RESOLVE. According to the organization's website, “The movement brings together millions of Americans who want to remove the stigmas and barriers that stand in the way of building families.”

“It's time for us to start talking about how difficult it is to go through infertility treatments. There is power in solidarity. It's hard to feel alone when you can physically see what others are going through, alongside you," Erica wrote in her essay for Good Morning America.

“We also need real stories from real people to galvanize health care professionals and researchers to develop, implement, study, and normalize clinical strategies to better support patients during fertility treatments," she continued.

Her story and photo capture the challenges many women and parents go through to have children.

Experiencing infertility is a deeply personal journey for each person, woman, and mother that can often sadly be stigmatized and feel isolating. Erica shared the pain she experienced in pregnancy loss, writing, “While trying to grow our family over the years, we had five pregnancy losses. There were times when I didn't think I could survive the pain," per Good Morning America.

“Going through IVF is brutal, isolating, and desperately lonely. It's a breakneck rollercoaster ride that whiplashes from hope to despair, moment by moment. It's physically, psychologically, and spiritually distressing," she wrote, also noting that treatment can be “financially devastating.”

“It shouldn't be this way. Infertility is a medical condition, and everyone should be able to access effective, evidence-based treatments for their illness,” the essay reads.

She said visualizing the journey helped her to heal.

Erica shared in a Facebook post that she began IVF treatments a decade ago but didn’t save any mementos from that time. But then when she and her partner decided to try IVF again and began looking into surrogacy, she decided to do so, and their gestational carrier did the same.

“By the time we began surrogacy, I was saving everything instinctively. We were so lucky to find a gestational carrier who unconditionally supported us, and who agreed to save all of her used needles and syringes without hesitation,” Erica wrote on Facebook.

She also shared that seeing the journey physically and visually helped with healing.

“Visualizing the totality of our experience in physical piles on the floor helped me appreciate not only our luck, but also our grit. I’m glad to remember each raw step of the process towards bringing Leander into our family," she wrote. "I don’t think infertility is ever really 'behind' a person. Like grief, it shapes us and we carry it with us. But maybe seeing the scaffolding of the journey, in its bare bones, can help bring perspective and healing,” she explained.

Her story has resonated with many parents and mothers.

When Erica shared her photos and part of her story in a Facebook post, many mothers and parents thanked her for her vulnerability.

One Facebook user commented, “Thank you, Erica! Thank you for your vulnerability and eloquence. I have been and continued to be so moved and inspired by your journey. Grit, grief, and a whole lotta money are true to my experience too. Thank you.”

Another person wrote, “This is heartbreaking and gorgeous all at once.”

Someone else shared their own experience with infertility and called Erica’s photo a “healing piece of work.” As the person wrote, “When I had to choose between trying to have a child (with no husband) or proceed with surgery to remove the 5 fibroid tumors on my uterus when I was 30 was devastating. I will never get to carry a child in my [womb], I will never experience the joy of seeing them grow from a blurb on a picture to a prospering adult.

"Although now I have 5 beautiful daughters (they were teens when they entered our home) and 12 amazing grand children through fostering I feel blessed but the 'nevers' still linger in my mind," the person continued. "Thank you for so eloquently telling your story through art. It is a healing piece of work."