Choosing to throw your child a birthday party always teaches you a lesson. Many parents are shocked about how expensive kids birthday parties can get. Others choose to skip the expensive party, opting to do something simple or on a smaller scale. Another big issue with throwing parties is a lack of understanding when it comes to kids birthday party etiquette, especially given that party can be so pricey.
A mom recently shared a story about kids who didn’t RSVP for her daughter’s party and how she chose not to feed them when they showed up anyway. It sparked an interesting conversation about who bears responsibility in these situations.
The mom reached out for advice from fellow moms.
She made a post on the UK parenting website Mumsnet, in the “Am I Being Unreasonable?” forum. In the post, she explained that this isn’t the first kids party she’s thrown. However, she knows she doesn’t have “many like this one left.” Her youngest kid was turning 8, and she was throwing a “bouncy castle party” at a local play center.
She gave parents ample time to RSVP, and followed up multiple times.
Due to various reasons, including school breaks, she sent out invitations three weeks in advance. Parents had until the week before the party to respond. Within the first week, she had gotten a handful of replies, so she sent out a follow-up. More people responded, including people who gave information about siblings who would also come to the party. And of course, she had invited family members.
She explained that RSVPs were important because she was making individual lunch boxes for each kid due to food allergies. “I also put on the invites that once I got an RSVP I would provide food options for their party food box — this was put on both invites — NO RSVP = NO Food Provided,” she wrote.
Altogether, she made 32 individual lunch boxes. One for each kid attending the party.
There were a few parents with poor kids birthday party etiquette.
On the day of the party, there were a few unanticipated guests. Two kids from school showed up who hadn’t RSVPed. “Both Mums didn’t stay were late dropped kids at door pointed over and ran. Children weren’t fed. Mums were not happy when children told them when they collected them — 15 mins late may I add,” she wrote.
“One of the school mums I have known for 10+ years couldn’t believe I said it and went through with it and didn’t provide extra on the off chance,” she added. On the other hand, her daughter’s best friend’s mom “thinks it’s hilarious and said she’s doing same May!”
Some people admonished her and accused her of punishing the children.
“I would have done a few extra because you’ve punished the children for their parent’s thoughtlessness,” another comment read.
“They’re children and they’ve been singled out compared to the other children and must have felt so unwelcome,” someone else wrote. “I think this is awful behaviour and I felt so sad for those kids reading this, it’s not their fault it’s the parents. Shame on you to make a child feel like s— to prove a point.”
Other parents praised her for sticking to her word.
Someone pointed out: “Absolutely not unreasonable. They had several chances to reply.”
“Good for you but I’d have brought along a little extra food anticipating this,” another wrote. “The parents deserve it but the kids don’t.”
“Maybe it’ll make them think twice about being so rude in future,” someone else commented. “If their children were upset, it’s entirely down to them.”
