As parents, we are responsible for caring for our kids and ensuring we’re helping them become good people. That means teaching them manners and right from wrong. But kids are kids, and sometimes they don’t always follow the rules, which can cause problems for moms and dads. A parent recently had an issue with a neighbor who questioned how they parent their twin sons. So the parent went to Reddit’s’ Am I The A–hole forum to see if they’d done the right thing.
The original poster explained that in addition to their nearly 12-year-old twin boys, their boyfriend has three kids and the five of them like to play together. They range in age from 8 to 12, so sometimes they get a bit loud. OP lives in an apartment complex and does their best to keep the kids quiet and respectful, but they recently got a little loud outside late at night, which really upset a neighbor.
“Well, this morning at 6 am I was taking my kids out to the bus and I noticed a letter (one page, front and back full) from my neighbor. It was a whole angry tirade about us being disrespectful and keeping her awake. I was always under the impression that quiet time started at 10, and I made sure to have them quiet after this time,” OP wrote.
“There was one noise slightly after 10, but I immediately corrected it, and everyone headed out a little after that. I’ve also given her my phone number so she can let me know if things are getting too noisy, and I’ll put a stop to it, but I never heard anything from her (either by text or in person) from her last night.”
OP wrote that the kids were always supervised, and they know right from wrong. “Teaching them to be respectful is something that is important to both of us. If noise levels get too high we correct them and remind them other people live here. They’re all usually pretty good about it,” OP explained.
So, is it fair for the neighbor to come down on OP and the kids? Some Redditors thought OP was the a–hole.
Like this person who wrote, “your 5 kids under 13 are not as quiet as you might think they are. quiet hours are typical in apartments…. i don’t vacuum after 8pm. YTA imo.”
This Redditor agreed, writing, “5 kids under 12 getting rowdy in an apartment building? Yes, YTA If you CHOOSE to live in an apartment, you have to respect the people around you at ALL times, not just the quiet times Time to move out to a house.”
But others thought OP’s neighbor took it a bit too far.
“[Not the A–hole] for the general question about allowing the kids to play outside at normal volumes. And yes, living in apartments means more tolerance of noise,” one commenter wrote. “I doubt your property management will take the neighbor’s complaints seriously. But it seems crazy to me that they’re out that late playing at those ages on school nights. What about bath time, winding down, etc.?”
Someone else pointed out that everyone has some accountability. “I 100% believe 5 kids (with boys in there) at the age range will be loud. Yes, you expect apartment noise but also consideration. People do work different hours and expecting some peace or reduction in noise by around 8 is reasonable to me esp if this is a daily thing,” the person wrote. “Then again where I’m from night time is homework/study/unwind. Literally, noone has their kids outside playing tag and on scooters at this time unless it’s the one off occassion or maybe summer unless they are in a park.”
