Being a mom with an unsupportive partner is exhausting in a completely different way. It feels isolating because you’re doing so much alone, but in theory, you have someone to help. A frustrated wife posted about her husband not pulling his weight at home. Because he works far away from home — well, not that far — he isn’t pulling his weight.
While the wife understands her husband’s side of things, she’s overwhelmed. And she doesn’t know how much longer she can do all of the child care and household management alone. Many women could relate.
She took to the internet to vent about her problem.
The frustrated wife posted on the popular Mumsnet forum about the stress she’s under. She explained that two months before she gave birth to twins, her husband lost his job. He did get a new job, but it’s an hour away from their home.
“He told me things would stay the same but has been staying over with his grandparents while he’s working,” she explained. Monday-Friday he stays there for work and he doesn’t come until Friday night.
“I’m exhausted,” she said, adding that he also wants to talk to her at night until he goes to sleep.
She feels that it’s not fair she’s doing all the work.
In addition to their twins, they have an older child. So the mom is caring for three kids by herself five days a week.
“I have told him we either move or he comes home at night,” she said. “He told me things would not be like this for long. It’s been like this since being discharged from the hospital.”
She went on to explain that lately she doesn’t “have any words for him,” and “now he’s not speaking” to her. “I’m taking on the job of 2 parents and I’m drained. I’m so f—ing pissed I don’t want to talk to him most days. He either does not care or he does not understand how hard things are for me,” she lamented.
The frustrated wife is done being understanding.
“I no longer have a life outside of being a mom. My days are a blur,” she said. She also explained that they moved away from her family, which means she doesn’t have additional support. And while she has neighbors and friends who try to pitch in and help, they’re not her husband.
“Hearing him out enjoying himself while I’m home with newborn twins and a 6 year old makes my blood boil,” she confessed.
“I’m no longer asking him what’s next. If things do not change soon I will be moving back home. This is so hard on me,” she said. “I love my babies just sometimes I need a f—ing break.”
Her fellow moms were definitely on her side.
“Your DH is a selfish w—er who only cares about himself,” one commenter wrote. “So what if he has an hour commute? That is normal for many family breadwinners. Par for the course if you want a decent job with a decent wage.”
“Next weekend go out on your own on Saturday morning and leave your phone at home,” someone advised. “Leave him to deal with the children.”
“He’s a selfish disgrace,” another person thought. “An hour commute isn’t long and certainly does not justify staying overnight for the working week. What a joke. Your husband is shirking his parental and husband responsibilities and he’s utterly selfish for doing so. He should be ashamed.”
