When economist and mom Emily Oster shared in an interview the controversial decision to say “no” to birthday parties her kids are invited to, it started a vigorous debate online. Some parents saw it as a “bad parenting choice,” while others criticized her for making that decision for her kids with seemingly no input from them. Overall, other parents just can’t understand why all birthday parties are apparently banned in Oster’s home.
She shared details of her view on kids’ parties in an interview on the We Met at Acme podcast. During the podcast, she shared why she and her husband decided not to go to birthday parties during their family’s free time. She defended her decision, but when a clip was shared to TikTok, other users in the comments came for her hard about saying a hard “no” to birthday party invites.
The mom stands by her decision for her family to say no to all birthday party invites.
@wemetatacme You have to do what works for YOU! Love this message #wemetatacme #EmilyOster ♬ original sound – wemetatacme
There is nothing wrong with making family decisions to avoid stress during busy times in life. But when Oster shared her perspective and that of her family’s when it comes to turning down birthday party invites, it sparked a debate online. During her interview with We Met at Acme, Oster shared that she believes “you have to decide for your family” what’s important to spend your time and energy on.
“One way to do that is to think, like, big picture,” Oster said. “Like what are our values, and so on. And another is just to be like, what do we want our days and weekends to look like, because you know, if you’re not happy with, like Saturday and Sunday every week, or with Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, like, you won’t be happy. And for our family, this idea of, like, prioritizing some time that the four of us can spend together that is family time, like, that’s very central.”
By accepting invites to birthday parties for her kids’ friends, Oster and her family could be missing out on that family time. Her logic behind it makes sense for some. For others, it just sounds like the fun police here to stop something fun from happening even before it begins. When the podcast shared a clip from the interview on TikTok, users commented to share just that.
One user wrote, “This will end in resentment from the child 100 percent.”
Another commented, “My mom was like this. Eventually if you deny enough parties, people will just stop inviting your child. It was very sad for me.”
Another person suggested in the comment section that Oster herself “doesn’t want to change her personal lifestyle for her kids.”
Saying no to some birthday parties here and there is one thing, and for some parents, it’s a must during the busier times of the year. But for parents who just can’t understand Oster’s reasoning, it sounds like she is taking something away from her kids by prioritizing their family time regardless of whether any birthday party invites come in.
At the end of the day, it’s up to each family to figure out what works best for them. We just can’t promise that the internet won’t come for you no matter what your stance is.
