Entering high school is scary. Not just for the kids, but for the parents, too. And while you can’t change what’s going to happen socially for your kids, the one thing you really don’t want is for your kids to feel unprepared academically.
One mom recently wrote in to Slate's Care and Feeding column looking for a little help with her eighth grader who is finding this school year to be a breeze. “I’m worried high school is going to be a complete shock,” she wrote.
The mom wrote in wondering if there was anything else she could do to help her child before they started high school next year.
Their child is a “dutiful, good student, and really responsible,” she wrote in her letter, but lamented that she could “count on one hand” the amount of take-home assignments her child has had this year.
“They say they finish it all up at school,” she explained.
But next year will surely be a different story.
It seems unlikely that next year will be quite as chill, she explained, even taking into account the fact that her child will be taking two honors classes next year.
“I feel like high school must be harder and more work?” she wrote. “Is there anyone I should reach out to at my kids’ high school to ask about the anticipated workload, even though I’m not even really sure what to do with this information?”
So far, whenever the LW’s child tells her their “bored” at school — “I just keep saying to enjoy it while it lasts. Right?” she asked.
Some people thought the LW needed to chill out.
"I'm a bit worried LW1 may be something of a 'tiger mom' whose love for her child is contingent on the child excelling at school, or at least that's how the child may be reading it," wrote one commenter. "There's a category of anxiety disorder in the DSM-5 that describes a student's manic obsession to be #1 and their resulting low self worth if they don't make it."
"LW1 – I say this with love: Calm the f— down," someone else chimed in. "Your kid is starting high school like a bazillion other kids. They'll figure it out. Seriously. This is nothing."
"LW1: Why are you going out of your way to make high school seem awful?" another commenter wondered. "You're essentially explaining to your kid what he should complain about next year. It might be easy for him. It might be challenging. He won't know until he gets there, but you are telling him that it's going to suck and he'll have no life except for homework and more homework. Don't create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Talk about high school like a fun, sometimes frustrating, sometimes exhilarating adventure, and let your kid be bored sometimes. Nothing will happen. Kids get bored, and sometimes, they just say they're bored because that's what kids do."
While other people assured her that the workload might just be NBD.
"LW1, I wouldn't really worry about it," one commenter told her. "I kept expecting this to happen to my oldest, and the truth seems to be that school is just a lot less rigorous nowadays. I used to have to write 10 page essays, his assignments were a 10 slide powerpoint. Shrug."
"LW1 is grossly overestimating the amount of work required of HS students, even in honors classes," another commenter agreed. "So few students do HW that teachers gave up on it years ago. Frankly you can say through everything up to AP classes in most public schools without ever cracking a book of any sort."
While a third commenter put it this way: "Unprepared would be failing middle school. You don't really have to prep for high school. It's meant to be passable for most people."
Thankfully, the mom got some great advice from a high school teacher.
Mr. Vona, a high school teacher from Florida, responded to the mom’s letter and advised her to keep calm.
“I doubt the workload will change drastically from eighth to ninth grade, particularly if your child isn’t diving into a more difficult courseload,” he wrote. If the mom is really worried, he advised, she could reach out to the high school guidance counselor and ask for some insight into the workload.
“Also, pay close attention to prerequisite assignments like summer reading,” he wrote. “Anecdotally (I’m an English teacher), I’ve noticed that ELA Departments that assign more summer reading tend to assign more homework throughout the year.”
But overall, there’s not much the LW can do to prevent an awkward adjustment period.
“Many of my colleagues who work with freshmen say that there is an almost inevitable and ubiquitous period of adjustment during that first quarter of ninth grade, whether it be flagging grades, social withdrawal, or behavior problems,” he wrote. “Freshmen year: parental vigilance is advised.”
Mr. Vona's bigger concern was that the LW’s child was bored.
The teacher was really concerned that this was a sign that the child wasn’t being challenged and was “most likely not learning.”
“It could also be a sign that they are unmotivated or unengaged,” he explained. “Not to roll the proverbial snowball down the hill, but ‘dutiful, good student(s)’ can often end up making some poor choices when bored.”
He advised the mom to enroll their child in even more higher level classes if she’s really worried.
“Even if the homework load doesn’t increase, I hope they find a more rewarding experience,” he wrote.
