Finding out we're pregnant can be one of the most exciting times — whether it was planned or not. From the moment we find out we're growing a human, we start to imagine how life is going to change. We move between feelings of calm and strength knowing we can handle whatever comes our way and fear of the unknown and the enormity of what it is we're actually doing. Because the big picture of parenting is so massive, we tend to break it down into sections because it's easier to process what challenges we may face in the future if we only focus on the next few months.
We do this with pregnancy — we break down the moments into trimesters. We just have to make it through the first trimester and then we may not feel as nauseated or tired. The second trimester is when we will feel a lot better, and maybe that's when we plan to do most of our big moves, such as setting up the nursery and taking a vacation before our lives change. The third trimester is the countdown to the big day when we will move to the next phase and get to know our baby. We check off the dates in the calendar, knowing the discomfort of pregnancy will only last so long.
And then our baby is born.
Once that happens, we shift those segments, and the focus is no longer on us anymore and what we have to go through. It's now all about baby. The first six weeks, then two months, six months, nine months, and a year. But, what happened to the parent in all this? We forget all about the fourth trimester, the time where mom is healing and transitioning to life as a new mom, both physically and emotionally.
The fourth trimester is the "transitional period between birth and 12 weeks postpartum during which your baby is adjusting to the world and you’re adjusting to your baby," according to Healthline. It's a critical time for both the parent who gave birth and the newborn baby — a beautiful but often stressful time for many reasons. One of those reasons is adjusting to the changes in our body and centering our new role as parent.
To honor the fourth trimester, we’re highlighting the changes a woman's body goes through and the wide variety of feelings that can be completely normal during this time that are often overlooked with the pressure to "bounce back." These parents are powerful reminders of how amazing parenthood is and how different our experiences can be.
This Is Postpartum
"This. Is. P O S T P A R T U M," Rashida wrote. "And you damn right I’m posting it! This was me hours after P was born. I am incredibly proud of this body of mine. It has grown not one but two humans. It kept P safe during a pandemic. It is worthy of my love and respect. This time around I made a declaration to myself to honor the postpartum journey."
To the Mama Struggling
"To the mama struggling to show up for yourself everyday, just know you aren’t alone," Sopha shared on Instagram. "There will be days that seem longer than ever & the everything you try to do to keep your baby calm isn’t working." She continued her message that these moments happen for every mama, though we rarely choose to curate them on social media.
There Are No Failures Here
It's undeniable that society puts pressure on new parents, and we're left feeling ashamed if we step into the fourth trimester with changes in our body. Marks that we're told are less than. Moms don't fail if they have new marks or a new shape. "You didn’t fail. You did amazing things. You might be different than you used to be, but you aren’t ugly, damaged, or scarred," Heather wrote on Instagram. "You are marked with a roadmap of the life you created."
We Need to Be Mindful of Our Message
Jessie wrote a strong message on Instagram, touching on the compliment we often hear of "you don't even look like you had a baby." She highlighted the beautiful moments people gloss over when they try to use that as a good thing. "The leaking, the aching and the jiggling is celebrating what my body just did," she wrote. "Don’t take that away from me, or anyone."
Let the Pressure Go
It's hard to explain the pressure new parents feel to ignore the body changes, so coming to accept and love our body can be a struggle. Lauren reminded us that accepting a new form isn't always linear, and that's OK too. "Let it go, mama. We put so much pressure on ourselves already," she reminded us. "Love that body. Work it. Embrace it. It is BEAUTIFUL."
Motherhood Doesn't Have To Be Glam To be Beautiful
Motherhood is less fitting back into prepregnancy jeans and having perfectly styled hair and more about "tired eyes, leaky boobs, mesh undies." It's a universal look of new parenthood, and although it may not be red-carpet worthy, it’s beauty in all true forms.
In No Rush
In the fourth trimester, there is so much pressure on parents to "snap back" or to have their body "bounce back" as fast as possible to look as it did before growing a baby. The pressure is relentless, and more parents are trying to take a breath, step back, and give themselves time.
What Is 'Normal?'
So many new parents are surprised to know that the pregnant belly doesn't go away the minute we give birth. In the media, this is all we see, so it's an expectation we place on ourselves that can really wreak havoc on our self-esteem. Aisha wrote, " I said yes. I’d always wished I’d seen more postpartum tummies after I had Kai, to know that mine was normal."
Our Bodies Are Powerful
"Don’t let the carefully curated feeds make you forget what motherhood really consists of," Wanda wrote on Instagram. "It’s hard work y’all. Sometimes we cry and wonder if we’ll have the strength to do it again the next day. Other times we stare at ourselves in the mirror and wonder if we’ll ever get used to what we see."
We Did It
In US society, we're so quick to judge our body and not lift it up for the amazing vessel it is. Andrea wants that conversation to change. "This picture is perfectly imperfect and I’m here to say postpartum is beautiful. Yes, you read that correctly!" she wrote on Instagram. "Of course, it also comes with a rollercoaster ride of emotions and a ton of extras nobody can ever really prepare you for but regardless I am choosing to celebrate every moment of it because I’m extremely thankful for this body that carried this sweet babe and kept him safe."
Celebrate Our Babies and Our Bodies
Jasmine beautifully celebrated her son's skin and the changes that come in the first few months. The beautiful love letter to her boy also celebrated a moment many new moms face: "first time wearing something besides a tank and adult diapers!!"
You Are a Good Mom
The truth about parenthood is that it's not easy. It's not easy for anyone — even the person posting on Instagram who seems like she has it all together. Abigail reminded us that we're all doing a great job, writing, "You are a good mom. It doesn’t matter what your body looks like. It doesn’t matter what other people think of you. It doesn’t matter if you sit on the bathroom floor and cry because some days are just too hard."
