Taking care of one baby is exhausting. Imagine taking care of three infants at a time. Just the thought of it is enough to make us want to take a nap. It is a reality for moms of multiples, however, and can be a lot to handle. Sometimes, moms need a break. It's good for a mother's mental health to sometimes walk away for just a few minutes, and that is OK. But should you ever leave the baby or babies alone?
A new mom of triplets posted in Reddit's AITA forum asking if she was irresponsible for taking a step outside during the day to get fresh air while her babies were in the house. Just right outside the front door …
Well, her fiancé got home and flipped out on her, saying that she was totally in the wrong and being a bad mom. After that response, the mom needed help and wanted some advice.
The mom is home all day with the babies.
The original poster is a 20-year-old new mom taking care of three 2-month-old babies alone. Her fiancé, 24, is in the picture, but he's rarely around because he juggles school and work. She wasn't expecting to be pregnant, and triplets never crossed her mind. But now that she is in the throes of motherhood, she's realized it's a lot. Sometimes, she needs to take a breath.
"My fiance's (24) parents rented us a main floor apartment so when I step outside I'm literally just sitting on the chair right beside the door plus I have a baby monitor [set] up in their room and it has a camera on it I can literally see them and hear them so if anything happened I'd be able to quickly get to them," she explained.
During a recent mental health moment, OP's fiancé came home and lost it on her.
OP needed to step outside to collect herself because the babies wouldn't stop crying and it had been a tough day. She wanted to calm herself down and went outside for some fresh air to help deal with some of the frustration. Her fiancé came home and saw her outside and flipped out.
"My fiance came home to me sitting outside while the babies were crying and freaked out on me calling me a horrible mom and a bunch of other names that I'm not gonna list here. He thinks that I was being super neglectful and putting the babies in harm way and even told his parents and now everyone seem to be really against me," she wrote.
The whole thing devastated her because she "grew up in the system," and her fiancé and his family are all she has. She is desperate to know if she made the wrong choice.
Redditors recognize that moms need breaks from time to time.
It wasn't lost on Redditors that this mom is in a tough spot. Having three infants is unfathomable to most people, and they understand why she needs a break every once in a while.
"Where are these family members who are calling mom and AH? Are they able to/have they even offered to come help? I would think with 2 month triplets my mom would be at my house until I forced her out, but all fiance's family has time for is to call mom an AH?" someone asked.
"As a mom who struggled with severe PPD and PPA, I cannot stress enough how important this information is," one person emphasized. "I'm currently pregnant with my second and I have a lot more support systems in place in preparation for another round of depression and anxiety, but all that aside, by far the most important piece of info here is taking a step away when you need it.
"NTA. My son's pediatrician (and many others) recommend taking a break when you feel overwhelmed. Not taking a break is can cause horrible outcomes like shaking/injuring the baby," another commenter wrote. "Taking a breather for a moment is healthy. If your partner or his parents have such a problem with it then they can take on the majority of your babies care and you can go back to school in person. Again, NTA, and you are doing everything right."
Maybe dad needs to see what it's like for himself.
If he thinks he could handle it so well, Redditors think that OP's fiancé should go ahead and take a crack at infant care times three.
"Might be a good idea to take a mental health day and leave dad alone for a few hours with triplets," someone suggested. "He might start understanding the need for a short break in a way that simply can't be explained!"
"You have triplets, and it's just you, he doesn't get a choice here he needs to step up and or hire someone to help," another person wrote.
"You are avoiding going into post partum depression and a host of stuff because you are taking mini breaks. Your fiancé is an a– for not understanding that, esp when he is literally doing just 0.05% of chores," someone else chimed in.
One baby is hard, let alone triplets.
Redditors want OP to know that she is a good mom. Devoting herself to these babies 24 hours a day is incredible. It is OK to take a break.
Redditors think that walking outside for a few minutes was definitely better than a potentially scary and dangerous alternative. They want OP to take care of her mental health and get the help she needs so she can continue being the awesome mom that she is.
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