As much as you might hate to think about it, your partner has a history. It’s just that you don’t often have to face his past on the day you’re going to give birth. Unfortunately for one woman, that’s the exact, super awkward, scenario she finds herself in and now she’s looking for a second opinion on whether this whole thing is just as weird as it seems.
The concerned mom-to-be recently shared her sticky situation in a post on Mumsnet.
“Found out one of the midwives has slept with my [Dear Partner], years ago etc., pre-me,” she wrote in her post on the UK-based forum.
“It's a small team there is a high chance she could be my midwife,” she added.
“Would you be ok with this? Yay or nay,” she asked.
Some commenters thought it was no biggie.
"If it was a long time ago, I'm not sure it would bother me, depends on the circumstances really," wrote one commenter.
"I mean it’s not ideal, but it was years ago so I don’t see why this has to be a big deal now," another commenter added. "If she is your midwife and does not maintain professional conduct, request a different midwife at the time. There’s a chance she doesn’t know your dating him, and a higher chance she doesn’t care regardless."
While a third commenter put it this way: "Wouldn't bother me. It's in the past."
But other people agreed: This was going to be soooo awkward.
"It would be a big nope from me," one person pointed out. "Quite enough intense emotions swirling around childbirth without having to deal with that undercurrent. I'd ask early on that she not be involved in your care."
"Is there another hospital you could use?" someone else asked. "As much as I like to pretend I'd be ok with that I'm not sure I actually would be and it would be hugely distracting!"
"No," a third commenter advised. "Just ask for another midwife if there are enough but she has probably moved on and may not even remember your DP. She may feel more comfortable with that but what would you do if she was the only one available or was the one who saved you and baby."
The mom later explained that she found out through a Facebook page for the midwife clinic, which showed her partner's ex.
"And he was like oh this is awkward," she wrote.
"I'm not fussed about her really," she added. "I'm just more thinking it may be distracting on the day, if she looks at him or vice versa who knows what my hormones will do."
Which is perhaps as good a reason as any for the OP to push to get a different midwife — for her hormones' sake.
