Sure, some of us may not get along with our in-laws. Maybe your in-laws and you come from vastly different backgrounds, maybe you don’t agree on how to parent your kids, or maybe they’re straight-up busybodies and it’s driving you nuts. But no matter how bad you think your in-laws may be, they’re probably not as bad as one Redditor who is convinced that her mother-in-law gave her food poisoning to cause her to miscarry.
The relationship between the Original Poster and her MIL has always been “tumultuous.”
Before the OP got pregnant, her MIL “used to always scrutinise me about being infertile and indirectly blamed my two miscarriages on me,” the OP wrote on the Am I the Asshole forum.
The OP is now six months pregnant and well into her third trimester with her rainbow baby and “so far it has been going great (we have never made it this far, so yay).”
She told her husband that she’d prefer it if it would just be the two of them around for the remainder of her pregnancy “and once the child is born we can meet with his family.”
But he really didn’t want it that way, and the OP eventually “gave in.”
That means her MIL has been staying with them.
“It has been living hell ever since MIL has arrived,” she admitted. “MIL has been asking me to do odd jobs like foot massages on her or make her heavy meals that require a lot of preparation, because according to her it is a good ‘form of exercise.’”
But that isn’t exactly easy when she has health issues, a pregnancy, and backaches.
Her MIL is also a believer in “traditional medicine,” telling the OP to limit her use of prenatal vitamins “and attributing it to the reason why I miscarried,” she recalled.
“A week ago I walk in on MIL trying to make herbal tea for me (I don't drink herbal tea),” she wrote. “She encourages me to drink it, I refuse at first but I did not want to start another whole feud so I end up consuming it.”
It tasted just like “bitter black tea.”
About an hour later, the OP started “having the worst headache and nausea of my life,” she wrote. “Now, I have experienced normal morning sickness but this was nothing like that.”
Then she started to vomit severely, prompting her to call her husband and eventually get in a taxi to go to the hospital.
“I felt like I was about to pass out. I go to the hospital and they find out my blood pressure is higher than normal,” she wrote. “I get admitted and put on the drip with my blood pressure monitored.”
The OP burst into tears, worried that there was something wrong with her unborn daughter.
Thankfully, her baby was safe and her blood pressure eventually stabilized.
“I still had to stay for the day to be monitored and was feeling exhausted from the dehydration,” she wrote. “The doctors mentioned it was food poisoning.”
The OP immediately knew that the food poisoning was the result of her MIL’s special tea.
When her husband got to the hospital, the OP gave him the ultimatum that he either call out his mother and ask her to leave “or I will go back and stay with my parents for the rest of the pregnancy,” she wrote.
Ultimately her husband “raged” at his mother and sent her packing.
But ever since the episode, her MIL has been accusing the OP of “instigating an argument between her and my husband” and said that the OP “blew this out of proportion.”
“She has also claimed that I was ‘faking it’ to try and keep granddaughter away from her,” she wrote. “I also feel guilty and my husband is not talking with her much after this. That was not my intention.”
Most people didn't blame the expecting mom for freaking out.
“She’s crazy, you and your baby girl are much safer without her around," wrote one commenter.
"You are too easy. Shouldn't you be getting the footrubs and dinner made for you? You're pregnant," another commenter pointed out. "Also is she a f—ing witch making this black potion that made you very ill. I'm surprised she didn't try and give you a poison apple too."
"I can't guess what her game plan was here, but you have to look after yourself and she has proven she cannot be trusted," a third commenter wrote. "I'm glad your husband has your back — as he should."
A few people thought she was wrong too.
Everyone sucks here, wrote one person, adding, “your MIL for obvious reasons, your husband for continuing to allow this to happen and you for being dumb enough to consume an unknown tea," one person commented.
"Honestly [Everyone sucks here] your MIL for obvious reasons, your husband for not taking your needs and worries seriously, and you for still caring about a dangerous person's feelings over your child's health," another person chimed in.
In a follow-up post, the OP shared that she eventually reached out to her MIL’s sister in Sri Lanka because “MIL's sister and I are much more closer.”
Her MIL’s sister mentioned that she was the one who gave her MIL the special tea, she explained in her post on Reddit's Just No MIL forum. It was an herbal mix the sister got from an ayurveda center “because MIL was complaining of headaches and skin rashes.”
“Which means the herbal mix was for HER rather than ME,” she wrote.
Her MIL never told her sister that she wanted the tea for the OP and that the tea “does not cure fibroids and gastric issues as it was originally stated by MIL,” she continued. “I was very confused as to why MIL would give me herbal mix meant for skin rashes when I don't have any existing skin conditions.”
The OP then told her MIL’s sister about this whole tea “fiasco” and she was “livid.”
“She tells me that manora mal (a native flower that grows in Sri Lanka) and juniper powder are active ingredients and that pregnant women by no means are supposed to take it,” she wrote. “In our birth country (Sri Lanka) there are people who turn to these ways to absolve pregnancies as our country has restrictive abortion laws.”
The admission scared the pregnant woman. OP called her doctor and asked if the tea could have done some serious damage to her child.
Thankfully, the doctor didn’t see any abnormalities on the OP’s scan from the hospital.
But she did warn that if the OP had taken the tea during her first trimester the results could’ve been disastrous.
“Gynae asked me to come down for a detailed check-up later this week just in case,” she wrote. “Gynae has also asked me to be more cautious next time as certain ayurveda herbs have high lead content which could have led to fetal defects.”
The OP was heartbroken. “I have miscarried two times in the past.”
“I have never made it to 6 months till this pregnancy and I don't know why MIL would do this,” she wrote. The OP told her husband what her doctor said, and he was “equally despondent.”
“We are contemplating on sending her back to Sri Lanka and limiting all contact,” she wrote, speaking of her MIL.
Understandably, she’s still shaken.
“How can someone be so vile enough to do this?” she wondered. “A part of me still does not know if this is accidental or deliberate.”
The OP even turned to a few people from her miscarriage support group “and they are urging me to file a police report.”
“I need advice on whether or not I should file a report or simply deport her back,” she wrote. “Personally I find it a bit cruel to file a report but regardless I would like to get an alternative opinion. Thank you to everyone who helps.”
Almost everyone agreed that the OP should report her MIL.
"Even if she doesn't do it again, having a paper trail could help you in the future," advised one commenter. "File the paperwork. Even if it was an accident, which she'll obviously claim it was, file the paperwork. Then send her home. She doesn't sound like a safe person to be around while pregnant, and you probably shouldn't have her back until you've healed after labor."
"I'm so sorry for what happened to you. You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty about filing a report," another person agreed. "She committed multiple crimes, and could have seriously hurt you and your baby. Bottom line — if she meant it, she belongs in jail. If it was an accident — she's dangerous. Either way, she shouldn't be around you anymore."
A third commenter thought the damage had already been done. "Hun, she poisoned you. This wasn't attempted poisoning, she succeeded and you ended up in [the] hospital. Was she around when you miscarried the first two times (apologies but my mind is going dark places). You cannot let her get away with this, it is evil."
The person continued, adding this:
"You have to file a police report and you have to get that woman away from you and your baby. If hubs doesn't grow a spine, you leave. This is one of those situations where standing your ground could put you in danger as you can't trust any food or drink in the house if she's there. Until she is gone, go and stay with a friend or family, or a hotel if necessary. And throw out any opened packets of food and drink to ensure she can't have tampered with them. Paranoid? Maybe, but better safe than sorry."
The OP thanked everyone for their advice and ended her post by sharing that she was taking it all in.
"I am reading all your opinions," she wrote, "currently resting a bit, but please know that I appreciate and take all your feedback seriously. Thank you I dont know how to repay all of you, much love."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
