My Wife Keeps Saying Our 3-Week-Old Is Ugly & Said She’ll Have a Nose Job When She’s Older

All babies are beautiful. And, of course, people tend to be biased about their children and think they are the most incredible-looking humans ever born. That isn't uncommon or unreasonable. Hopefully, every parent beams with pride when they see their child. Again, we said hopefully.

The mom of a newborn has gone totally off the deep end, criticizing her baby's looks to the point that she offered the child plastic surgery at less than a month old. Um, what? Her husband thinks that she is nuts and their daughter is beautiful. His wife has had some depression and anxiety in the past. So at first, he attributed her insults to postpartum depression, but these insults are starting to feel personal. He checked in with Reddit's AITA forum because he finally shut his wife down, but he doesn't feel bad about it.

Evidently, his wife thinks she is pretty cute.

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The original poster claims that his wife is attractive and their older son looks just like her. When their daughter was born three weeks ago, she came out looking like her dad, and OP's wife was disappointed. She doesn't think her daughter is as cute as her son and has vowed to help her when she gets older. OP said the child is already signed up for a nose job and lip fillers, as her mother laments,

"I wish you had gotten more of my features," he heard her say. "My family is beautiful and all the women are timeless. Your [dad's] family, not so much."

At first, he just told her to be nice, but now he's over it.

This baby is brand freaking new, and OP thinks his wife is acting like a horrible, nasty person and finally called her on it.

Not only is his wife insulting the baby, but she is insulting him, too, and he is sick of it. He told her he doesn't care whether the baby understands or not; enough is enough. OP says his wife needs to "stop projecting on her." OP even threw his wife's own mother back in her face.

"You regularly tell me how your mom f—ed up your psyche with all her comments about your appearance so why the f— are you doing the same to baby girl?" he asked her.

Surely he can't be considered an a–hole for protecting an innocent baby, right?

There is only one monster here, and it's not the loving father.

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OP has listened to his wife's BS since day one, and he just couldn't take any more. No one blames him for blowing up.

"NTA, regardless of the behavior's genesis," someone wrote. "Every single day since the baby was born she had insulted her and Op and ignored his gentle redirections. No wonder he snapped. Losing his temper wasn't the best but it is understandable."

One commenter wrote: "This post really broke my heart. 'Out of the heart the mouth speaks.' Anxiety & Depression is not an excuse. Your daughter is going to need you so please learn to be assertive and not aggressive with Mom or your kids are going to have problems due to the anger and chaos in the home. Get your wife into therapy ASAP and if she refuses, divorce her and file for custody. She's going to make a Narcissist out of your golden boy Son and a scapegoat out of your daughter."

"Naw, NTA," another person agreed. "I'd be extremely p—ed if my partner was saying that s— to our child, and I'd let them know. You're right that berating doesn't usually 'work' but you're also allowed to have an emotional reaction to your daughter being bullied, especially by your wife / her mom. Time to shut that s— down ASAP for your daughter's sake."

Let's remember the importance of mental health.

Yes, OP's wife is being mean to their baby, but it is crucial that he not gloss over her mental health needs. OP needs to be sure that his wife is OK, or things could get out of control quickly.

"She needs help and since she doesn't seem to be addressing it he should help her, for everyone's sake," one Redditor warned. "But neither childhood abuse nor PPD are a get out of being an a–hole free card and these children need to be protected from her toxicity."

"I get she may have PPD but she doesn't have to verbalize her thoughts and keep them to herself," another commenter wrote. "I suggest she/you both get some counseling. It sounds like she needs to do some healing based on her childhood. It may not be the best time to do this while suffering from PPD but if nothing else, she needs to stop saying these things out loud."

"NTA – unless you don't fix this situation," one Redditor commented. "Your wife needs therapy – and to stay away from your daughter until she makes progress. If she refuses, your daughter needs you to leave this woman. Children are ridiculously impressionable for the first few years – they pick s— up like sponges. You leaving your daughter in this environment will lead to lasting psychological damage."

This is a tricky one for Redditors.

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OP, you are a positive and loving dad — just what your daughter deserves. Your wife is clearly struggling with something, but that doesn't give her the right to mistreat her family. Redditors want you to evaluate everyone's physical, emotional, and psychological needs and see if that helps. In the meantime, keep doing what you're doing to love your baby and build her up. She deserves it.