My Stepdaughter Is So Obnoxious I Banned Her From Eating With Us — Now I’m the Rude One

Vladimir Vladimirov/iStock

For families with multiple children, there is likely to be a bit of sibling rivalry. Whether they argue about who has the bigger room or who gets better grades, kids love to challenge each other. When it comes to raw talent, they may show off what they are good at just to get the goat of the other kids. This certainly causes challenges and annoying situations for parents who want to encourage their kids to share their gifts but also not be jerks to each other.

A woman posted about her stepdaughters on Reddit's AITA forum, sharing that there seems to be a bit of competition among the girls over who is the better singer. But instead of squashing the arguments, the stepmom seems to think one girl is actually much better than the other and has now banned one sister from eating with the family because she insists on singing. It's an ugly situation, and many people are wondering what is happening in this family.

One of the girls has a beautiful singing voice.

via GIPHY

The original poster explains that her 18-year-old stepdaughter, Scarlett, is an "amazing singer." She has worked for years at perfecting her craft and has not only made money as a singer but has also been accepted into prestigious music schools to further her career.

OP loves to hear Scarlett sing but isn't wild about listening to her other stepdaughter, Ava, 16. She claims the teen's not a great singer but thinks she is.

"Ava also likes to sing very loudly and/or at bad times. For example, if she feels that we're too quiet at the dinner table she starts to loudly sing," OP wrote. "It doesn't sound good and I honestly don't know how she doesn't hear it. If you ask her to stop she keeps going and if you're blunt and say stop, that doesn't sound good/we don't want to hear it she keeps going and gets even louder just to annoy you."

Ava seems to be a button pusher.

The teenager apparently only listens to her father, who isn't around much, and when her stepmother tells her to stop singing, she won't. Things came to a head recently, and OP got so upset with Ava's incessant terrible singing that she banned her from eating at the table with the family. She can eat anywhere else but not at the table.

"I told her to stop and she didn't listen so I again took her plate and told her to eat somewhere where we can't hear her if she doesn't want to act appropriately. Ava argued that she's a better singer than Scarlett and that Scarlett sings all the time," she wrote. "I was done with her bulls— so I asked her how many times someone other than her dad has actually asked her to sing, not even paying her to be there, just ask her to sing or how many performing arts schools she's gotten accepted to (she's applied to many)."

Her husband is upset and wants her to apologize, but OP thinks Ava is just an antagonizer, and she wants it to stop.

People think Ava just wants attention.

via GIPHY

She seems to be going about it the wrong way, however, and OP isn't helping. Some believe they are all in the wrong.

"It sounds like she is very envious of her sister and it's causing her to act out. She's being immature and annoying," one person wrote, adding that everyone is acting badly. "But it sounds like you all are very quick to remind her that she sucks at singing. It shouldn't be about how good she is or isn't. It should be about being disruptive and loud at the table, in the car, etc. There are times when singing is appropriate and other times when it isn't. If Scarlett were singing loudly at the dinner table, would she be asked to stop? If not, then you guys are extra a–holes."

This person agreed, commenting, "It sounds like Ava is trying to find attention, and Scarlett's singing seemed to get that from everyone, which might lead to replication. I think it's less about p—ing you off/being disrespectful, and more about getting a reaction. Negative attention is still attention, after all.

"Encouragement into something she actually enjoys could help," the person continued.
"Following through, and being supportive of whatever she finds might help, especially if it's confidence building which she clearly needs. Open communication and admiration lines up to her- remember that talking AT her isn't being beneficial. [Everyone Sucks Here]."

Others think there's a clear jerk in this situation.

This person thought the jerk was Ava, not OP.

"[Y]ou are not being rude or TA – just had to be more blunt to get it to stop. She's being obnoxious and looking for any attention," the person wrote. "Unfortunately, you're giving it to her by getting irritated. It would probably be better to record it so your husband can hear this ridiculousness and ignore it."

Other commenters think it's OP who is the a–hole.

"This child is seeking the praise that you pile onto her sister by trying to emulate the thing that earns that praise, and your response is 'shut up and go away'? Poor girl :(," one person wrote.

"It’s clear just from your post that you ring Scarlett’s praises and cannot stand Ava," someone else chimed in. "If it’s that obvious in this post, I’m gonna guess your favoritism is seeping into ava’s reality as well. YTA and a bully. I’d be questioning my marriage if my partner treated my child like this."

This family needs to work through some things.

via GIPHY

Redditors had mixed emotions about the situation, but it came down to one thing for many of them: Ava is hurting. Whether she is jealous of Scarlett or doesn't like her stepmom, something is amiss. Redditors hope she gets the positive attention she needs and can mend her relationship with her stepmom before she ruins the bond she has with her sister.