Deciding to have a child together is one of the most major choices a couple can make, and it's probably safe to say that most women are hoping to have a partner who turns out to be a great dad. We love the dads that are in the parenting trenches with us — the diaper changing, midnight barf cleaning, dealing with toddler meltdowns, helping big kids with their school work, and dealing with teenager mood swing dads. It's just that, well, sometimes it is super annoying to see dads get all sorts of credit for doing things that everyone expects moms to just handle.
Yep, parenting double standards are absolutely real and absolutely annoying, especially to moms. We've rounded up 20 of the most annoying, so read on for a good old-fashioned vent session (and then forward this to other mom friends because they may need the laugh, too!).
Hot in a Baby Carrier
"Why is it that when a dude puts on the baby carrier, he become a magnet for female attention and it like increases his hot percentage like 10% but women become invisible when they have a baby strapped to them? Rude!" — Jessie S., Brooklyn, New York
Diaper Duty
"We, as a culture, have got to stop praising dads for changing diapers. Changing diapers is parenting 101 and it isn't somehow this thing that all moms magically know how to do or like doing. All parents have to learn it, but only dads get credit for it. Stop!" — Mandy B., Washington, DC
Not My Helper
"I'm beyond sick of hearing my mother-in-law brag about what a good 'helper' my husband is when he feeds the kids or does household stuff in front of her. No, ma'am. He isn't my helper, he is my husband and he still doesn't do his fair share of household stuff, if I'm being real about it." — Name withheld by request
Dad Bod
"Honestly, I'm still annoyed that the whole 'dad bod' conversation was a thing. Hipster dad dudes with a belly and a beard are hot but moms with a tummy and messy hair are just sloppy? Totally sexist." — Pansy R., Costa Mesa, California
Not Lucky
"If one more person says I'm 'so lucky' because my husband does 95% of the laundry, I'm going to scream. We have four kids under the age of 10. It is an all-hands-on-deck situation here and I don't get praise for feeding everyone every single day. Why does he get praise for the laundry?" — Marnie R., St. Paul, Minnesota
Not My Third Child
"Real talk — everybody, including moms, have got to stop with the whole cliche of saying husbands are another one of the kids. I have two kids and own grown a– husband. He isn't my third child and it is really stupid that we infantilize men by calling them children. Raise your expectations of what men/dads can be like, please." — Kelly W., Flagstaff, Arizona
Not the Babysitter
"Can we please — please — stop calling it babysitting when a man spends time with his kids? He isn't a babysitter. He isn't doing me a favor. He is parenting, just like I do every single day." — Winnie F., Houston, Texas
Social Director
"When did it get decided that only moms can arrange play dates and manage their kids' social lives? Why do I have to be the social director all the time? You can text my husband, too, if you want to set up a playdate!" — Josie Y., San Diego, California
Invisible Labor
"I'm annoyed with myself for being part of the double standard problem. I do so much invisible labor (like the five hours I spent this weekend sorting out clothes to weed out the outgrown stuff and figure out what clothes my daughter needs for spring and summer) and my husband thinks he really does 50% of the work. He does not but I don't do enough to help him see all that I do behind the scenes." — Laurie K., Edina, Minnesota
Park Praise
"You know what drives me nuts? When my husband takes our special needs son to the park and everyone acts like he is father of the year or something. I take the kid five days a week and nobody ever praises me for it." — Cassie D., Denver, Colorado
Present Problems
"Why do we let dads off the hook when it comes to buying gifts and planning birthday stuff for kids? I do all the work and he rolls in to the party and gets half the credit. Annoying, but maybe my own fault in some ways, too? I don't know." — Alicia A., Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Sleepy Mornings
"I'm so sick of being told I'm lucky because I get to sleep in on a Saturday mornings. Yes, my husband gets up with the kids early on Saturdays, but guess who is up early with them the other six days of the week? Me! Where's my crown?" — Yesenia H., Las Vegas, Nevada
Mom's Day Off
"My husband told me that some said, 'It must be mom's day off' when he was at the grocery store with the kids. I swear my head almost exploded. That stuff is so tired and dumb." — Irene O., St. Louis, Missouri
School Contact
"I work and my husband is the stay-at-home parent. He is listed as the first contact on all the school forms, so why do they always call me first when something comes up with the kids? So annoying." — Suzi H., Little Canada, Minnesota
We're Pregnant
"I'm annoyed with my husband for telling people that 'we're pregnant.' No, we aren't pregnant. I'm the one with the swollen feet, sore back, and having to pee every five minutes. He doesn't get credit for that!" — Yala H., Deerborn, Michigan
Ponytails Aren't Hard
"Putting hair in a ponytail isn't actually that hard. Can we stop acting like guys are heroes for posting some picture or video of them doing their kid's hair? This is basic parenting stuff." — Melissa T., Roswell, New Mexico
Lone Wolf
"I travel for work and sometimes people will ask if my husband needs help when I'm gone or will even offer to drop off a meal. Um, no. He's fine. And why don't you offer to drop off a meal for me when he travels for work? Total double standard." — Sarah F., Seattle, Washington
Mother-in-Law Praise
"My mother-in-law is ridiculous. She is so proud of what a good husband and dad her son is. And he is, but that's because we spent years in couples' therapy getting to this point where he is an equal partner and not a spoiled man-child. He now does as much work as I do, but she shouldn't take credit for that!" — Name withheld by request
Self-Care Time
"I just want 45 minutes a day to workout or read or just not have someone touching me. My husband gets at least six hours on Saturday to golf or go on bike rides with his buddies, plus all the time in the week the kids bug me first. Why do dads get so much more time than moms do?" — Oliva P., Grand Haven, Michigan
Not a Part-Time Job
"Why is being a mom considered a full-time job with no vacations, sick days, or time off and being a dad is seen as sort of a fun part-time gig? It is so offensive, to both moms and dads. Expect more!" — Tessa V., El Paso, Texas
