Parenthood is hard enough as is, but one of the aspects that makes it even harder than it needs to be is all the people who judge us for the decisions we make. Parent judgment or "mommy shaming" is rampant in the world of raising young humans, and it's pointless. We're judged for things we're "not supposed" to do, but those unspoken rules aren't always what's best for our kids — or our sanity.
That's why we're very big believers in "doing what works" in our own families. Sometimes that means breaking a "bad mom" rule that we've been told about by judgy parents, witnessing a pile-on in social media when another parent deviates from what's expected of us, or simply swearing we would never do before becoming parents. Sometimes, what's best for one family isn't what works for another. Other times, were just doing the best we can for whatever situation we've found ourselves in. And that's OK.
On Reddit, someone posed a question asking fellow moms to share a "bad mom" rule – the things they're told not to do — that they allow their kids to break and have refused to feel guilty about. For instance, some moms don't count the screen time minutes their kids get each day, and others may rely on take-out more than they're "supposed to," but all these moms are doing their best –and that's a sign of a good mom.
Click through and read the 17 "bad mom" rules these parents let their kids break on the regular and are unapologetic about.
Curse Words, Wine, and Movies

"I let my kids say curse words if they stub their toe or something minor, we all start laughing and they forget they are hurt quickly," one parent shared. "Once they are 10+ they get a tiny cocktail or wine on holidays or celebrations. I let them watch movies with nudity and sex, not porn, (natural) but not murder (especially kids murdering each other). I let them dress themselves and choose their own hair cuts/colors. I don't make them eat anything but if they don't they can only snack on fruit or veggies."
Fast Food Happens

"I let my kid eat fast food," one person responded. "It's not everyday but truthfully it's probably about once a week that I get her a happy meal or stop by Little Cesar's and get a $5 pizza. She's healthy and I cook most of the time so I don't feel guilty."
Screen Time

"Screen time. So much screen time," someone else wrote. "And plastic toys! When I was but a naive pregnant woman I swore it'd be all wooden toys that would enrich her mind and very little TV… She watched Frozen twice yesterday and had rice pudding for lunch. Parenting is difficult AF."
They Go to Daycare on My Day Off

"When I have a weekday off, I still drop my kid off at daycare for a few hours (same daycare she goes to the other days, around the same kids, with the same teachers, same [health] precautions, etc)," another parent shared.
"I use my free time to go grocery shopping, clean the house, and take a nap. I’m a nicer, more patient mom when I’m not completely exhausted, and my time with the kid is more meaningful when I’m only focused on them instead of household chores. Do I feel a bit guilty about it for not spending every waking moment I can with my little one? Yeah, definitely. Am I going to stop? Nope. Call me a bad mom. IDGAF."
It's Juice Over Here

"I let my kid drink juice sometimes," someone else wrote. "I don’t think juice is inherently bad, but the way some people absolutely FREAK about not giving their kids juice is beyond me. My kid likes apple juice. Big whoop."
There's a TV in the Bedroom

"My kid's got a TV in her room solely to watch Bob Ross at bedtime," reported another parent. "She's allowed to cuss as long as she doesn't use words as weapons. She gets way too much screen time. Gets 'chocolate milk' (Carnation instant breakfast) at bedtime for the extra calories and protein."
The parent continued, "As long as she's in bed and quiet, we don't actually care whether she chooses to read all night long rather than sleep. She teases us, gives advice and she is treated as an equal in the home as much as possible. We're not her friends, but we try to respect her autonomy when we can."
Kid Sleeps in Their Arms

We've been told so many times that "giving in" to our kids and "coddling" them is bad, but sometimes it's not. "When my kid is really upset, he sleeps in my arms," one parent responded. "I think it's lovely. I got judged for it in the hospital though," the person confessed. "I was in the best neonatal unit in the southern hemisphere so I suspect it's a crappy culture thing and not a crappy hospital thing."
Work from Home, Have To Do Whatever

"So I’m going to be honest and admit that since working from home alone with my 8 year old 28 days a month, while trying to help him with virtual school — I let him play Minecraft for like 5 hours straight," the parent confessed. "I have meetings and work to do and I’m stressed and I suck at this. Sometimes I forget to feed him. He yells at me for using the F word. I have zero balance with my bad mom traits."
Pajamas All Day

"I let them run around all day in pajamas if they want to," someone else shared. "I usually draw the line at leaving the house like that. I wouldn't, either, so I feel like that is still a decent boundary, I want them dressed when we leave … after age 2 that is. Before age 2, as long as you don't have a goose egg in your pants, and ya know, you're wearing pants, let's go."
Because I Said So Was Out

"Not me but my mom. Her 'bad mom' rule was if I asked why I couldn’t do something and she couldn’t come up with a reason besides 'because I said so' I got to do that thing. I got away with some questionable things based on that," she wrote. "Even now at 30 when my mom asks me why I have certain experiences the reason is often 'because I couldn’t come up with a good reason not to do it.'"
They Can Dress Themselves and Not Eat

"I let my kids decide how to dress and how long their hair should be," a parent replied. "Fun fact, both boys had very long hair for years and it drove my father CRAZY." The parents also never made the kids eat dinner when at home.
"They could eat all or part of what I made, but if they didn't like any of it (which was rare) they could go make a sandwich. This was my mother's hill to die on, and I am STILL p—ed that I wasted so much time as a child, crying at the dinner table because I could not stomach canned peas."
Sharing Is Not Caring

"I don't make them share. I know — shocking! We can be at a family event, and my child will be playing with their toy and a cousin will approach and either politely ask for it (or try to take it) my kid will say no (usually) and then the mother goes 'No no no, you have to share!' To which I interrupt 'No sweety, you don't. Sharing is nice, but you don't have to do it. Would you like to share or would you like to keep going as you are?'" a mom explained. "Kid wants to keep using their toy happily, and the other mom is always outraged."
I Called My Kid in Sick

"My daughter is grown now but when she was in school, once or twice a year I would call her in sick so she could get extra sleep (usually for cramps or just general exhaustion from test week)," a mom shared. "We did fast food once a week or so, watched Nickelodeon until she fell asleep (as a small child), co-slept until she was in high school (I was a single mom). The world didn’t end, she graduated from college, grew up to be a productive adult and now has her own daughter."
No 'Nose Wiping' Here

"I let my kid be sticky/snotty," another parent confessed. "She hates having her face wiped unless it's bath time and I honestly hate fighting her to try and wipe her face. So if we’re kicking it at home, she’s sticky until it’s time for her evening bath."
My Kid Drinks Coffee

"I make my 9 year old son a decaf latte every morning and let him have sips of wine. I don’t care if he swears. I let him play a fair amount of video games (a surprisingly good source of social interaction during Covid)," wrote someone else. "I want to be supportive of all the moms here by saying there is a lot of virtue signaling going on and ‘bad’ things that aren’t so bad."
Any Music He Wants

"I let my kid (10) listen to explicit music," another parent confessed. "I'm a huge fan of Wu-Tang and I bought him a shirt from one of their shows. He was curious, so he asked if he could listen to some of their music. He ended up really liking them." The parent added, "honestly, I think it's an educational opportunity. He learns about a different culture and the struggles that they are forced to live through."
Unsupervised Play Time

"I allow my children to run around the neighbourhood UNSUPERVISED," shared someone else. "No, I do not know where they are, yes I have an idea … yes I trust them, no I am not worried they are going to get abducted. they are 7 and 9."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.