Usually your family tries to help you when you're pregnant both physically and financially when they can — not make your life completely miserable. But that’s sadly not the case for one woman, whose stepmother-in-law offered to buy a car seat and now won’t give it to her because it’s “bad luck.”
The soon-to-be mom and her husband are pregnant with their first baby and everyone else has been totally supportive. But not her SMIL.
In fact, she told the mom-to-be’s husband that he “wasn’t ready” for a baby — when both the original poster and her husband are in their late 30s.
“Also who is ever READY for a baby?!” the OP explained in a Reddit post.
The OP’s mom offered to get them some new gear for the baby — you know, a crib, a stroller, or even a car seat.
But when her SMIL heard the news of the other soon-to-be grandma’s generosity, she immediately offered to buy a car seat.
“I was like it's ok my mom is getting it,” the OP wrote. “Then they made me feel bad because they told DH that we don't want them to be involved at all and blah blah blah.. so I was like fine, whatever they can get it (come to find out later on she told my SIL that my mom didn't want to pay for it and that's why they are going to get it, after my family has had a hellish year ~ that was super insulting).”
Her SMIL picked out a car seat that really wasn’t going to work for the OP and her husband.
The OP really wanted a car seat without a base — but of course her SMIL got her one with a base.
“SMIL went ahead and got it anyways so I told him that's fine we can just exchange it ourselves later,” she recalled.
This all happened at the beginning of August.
“I'm 30 weeks pregnant and they still have the car seat and wouldn't send it home with him because they said it was ‘bad luck,’” she wrote.
The OP’s husband even tried to tell his stepmom that they really needed to exchange the car seat.
“Now it's a huge problem and she continues to hold onto it!” she wrote. “The car seat is literally the same exact seat except it has the added on feature that we need.”
“He's been there a few times and each time there is [always] some excuse of why he can't take the car seat,” she added. “I'm at the point where I might just go buy a new car seat but I feel like that will escalate the drama!”
The OP is “super grateful” to her in-laws for buying them the gift — "I just think it's our choice at the end of the day what we decide to use for our child."
The comment section was pretty united — the OP needs to get her own car seat.
"Just buy a new carseat," wrote one commenter. "You need it for your baby and to hell with hurting SMIL's feelings. She can go exchange the other one herself."
"They’re holding onto it likely so that she has a car seat on hand for all the time she thinks she’s gonna have alone with your child, driving them around & such," another commenter pointed out. "Just get your own & let them escalate amongst themselves. It’s not about them. This is about your child’s safety & your ability as parents to be properly prepared to provide that safety."
"If I were you I’d just quietly buy an affordable one online just to have for your peace of mind," a third poster suggested. "Say nothing about it to anyone. It seems everyone has got loose lips and strong opinions which makes for stressful situations. Good luck!"
The two did finally manage to get the car seat out of her SMIL's clutches.
But she didn't make it easy.
The OP's husband called his father and told him "that she needs to stop talking about me to other people and that this whole situation has escalated for no reason," the OP wrote in an update to her post. "His dad told him to just come get the car seat and stroller and be done with this drama."
Of course, her SMIL wrote them a "nasty text saying she returned it, apparently it was affecting her health, we were ungrateful and how dare us ask her to return a gift (we didn’t) because who does that and that she and her friends are praying for him," she wrote. "Such a mess."
The OP now swears that she'll never go to her SMIL's and FIL's house — and she won't be bringing her baby for a visit either.
"I told DH today I don’t want me or the baby to be around her ever and if grandpa wants to see the baby he’s more than welcome to make arrangements with us — but she can kick rocks!" she added.
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